To my two best friends in the entire world...(They know who they are.)
____________
You guys are the greatest people I've ever met. Don't deny it and don't say you're not because I will never believe either of you. You guys have been there for me in ways that I could never imagine. You guys are fucking amazing and you always will be. Why am I telling you this now? Because this is my way of saying how much I appreciate you two. I don't deserve friends like you guys and I know I never will. Yea sure, I'm always there to talk to and help, but here's where my good intentions come up short; I let you guys down. Don't believe me? I just realized that after trying to help the both of you through something for so long, that all of this started for one reason and one reason only...Me. Yes, you read that, I said me. You guys do so much for me and this is how I repay you? For screwing up your lives, making everything worse, breaking your hearts and turning all of us against 4 innocent people? I watch the both of you fall apart and it burns me up knowing that I added another log to the fire of problems. I don't deserve you guys. I just don't. Attempting to fix things in this situation has only made everything mess up even more. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to sleep at night until everything goes away. I know for a fact that everything won't because nothing will ever turn out perfectly. You both have no idea how much I want to go back time and fix everything. Too bad that's impossible. I guess my point is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you guys when I say I'm fine. I'm sorry for being such a hypocrite. I'm sorry for dragging you guys into this mess. I'm sorry for being a bad friend. I'm sorry if anything I say brings the both of you down, but most of all I'm sorry for existing because maybe if I was never alive your lives would be so much better. I love you guys, you mean the fucking world to me... Never forget that.
You guys are the greatest people I've ever met. Don't deny it and don't say you're not because I will never believe either of you. You guys have been there for me in ways that I could never imagine. You guys are fucking amazing and you always will be. Why am I telling you this now? Because this is my way of saying how much I appreciate you two. I don't deserve friends like you guys and I know I never will. Yea sure, I'm always there to talk to and help, but here's where my good intentions come up short; I let you guys down. Don't believe me? I just realized that after trying to help the both of you through something for so long, that all of this started for one reason and one reason only...Me. Yes, you read that, I said me. You guys do so much for me and this is how I repay you? For screwing up your lives, making everything worse, breaking your hearts and turning all of us against 4 innocent people? I watch the both of you fall apart and it burns me up knowing that I added another log to the fire of problems. I don't deserve you guys. I just don't. Attempting to fix things in this situation has only made everything mess up even more. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to sleep at night until everything goes away. I know for a fact that everything won't because nothing will ever turn out perfectly. You both have no idea how much I want to go back time and fix everything. Too bad that's impossible. I guess my point is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you guys when I say I'm fine. I'm sorry for being such a hypocrite. I'm sorry for dragging you guys into this mess. I'm sorry for being a bad friend. I'm sorry if anything I say brings the both of you down, but most of all I'm sorry for existing because maybe if I was never alive your lives would be so much better. I love you guys, you mean the fucking world to me... Never forget that.
*hugs* You and Dani are the best.
threeam., June 19th, 2007 at 04:03:43am
D: ... *tries not to cry*
I love you Eileen. This isn't your fault. Dont blame it all on yourself. Youre not a bad friend at all. Youre nothing close. If it wasnt for you, I would be dead.
Rick Lava, June 19th, 2007 at 01:32:05am