Pro-ana/mia

Pro-anorexia and -bulimia websites are all over the internet, and consequently all over the media as a whole. Womens magazines cover them, as do teenage magazines, doing articles warning parents and particularly teenage girls of the dangers of eating disorders and why these sites are evil.
First off, I have never suffered from an eating disorder or looked at these websites for any reason other than because they interest me. So this is from the view of an outsider looking in. I have friends who suffer from anorexia and ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified - which covers a variety of disordered eating patterns) though, and have had many a debate with them about why it's their eating disorder speaking to me not 'them'.

At first glance, many of these websites seem to be a breeding ground for anorexia and bulimia - just the word 'pro' in their names seems to be saying that they're supporting eating disorders like a cult. However, many of these sites are very much against people who go to them in an attempt to 'get' an eating disorder. The pro in their name simply means that they're not going to slaughter you and tell you to get a grip on yourself right now because eating disorders are mental illnesses. The people on these sites know eating disorders are mental illnesses, many have been diagnosed and hospitalised for their eating disorders. They use pro-ana/mia sites as a way of coping until they're ready to face the demons their eating disorder is covering up.
I'm aware that not all pro-anorexia/bulimia sites have that mentality, but many do include a section on why they hate their eating disorders and why you should never envy their weight etc. They're aware they're killing themselves, but by the time a lot of the people who make these sites are at that point, they're so far into their ED they don't feel they can fight, or they're simply not ready. Just like you can't help a drug addict until they're ready to fight with all their power, you can't help someone with an eating disorder eat properly until they're ready to face their ED.

There are sites which are open about the fact they promote anorexia a "life style" not a mental illness, but it seems that all pro-ana/mia sites are tarred with this label, when this isn't true. My friend has an eating disorder, and she'd look at my hips every day and say she loved them, and repeatedly told me "don't ever lose your curves, girl", but she couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw it up again in the fear of putting on weight. These people know they're not well, but they can't see their weight and food issues are ruining things, or they're simply not ready to face up to what they're using food to control.

This comes across as pro-pro-ana, if that makes sense, but it's not meant to. It just saddens me that so many people don't look any deeper than the name of these sites and immediately try to get them shut down. These sites aren't trying to turn everyone into an anorexic - in fact, most of them make a point of saying how much they hate the hold their EDs have over them, they're giving support to those who are already deep into disordered eating. It's awful reading the pleas of young girls on these sites, begging their friends to persuade them not to eat, but when someone's that far into their disorder, a post on the internet isn't going to stop them from eating really. They know that, but it's the support they need at that moment in time.

I'm not completely for these sites; they worry me in that a lot of the posts and information is public and can be accessed by a search engine within seconds, and it can be triggering for someone trying to recover from an eating disorder. These sites are the enemy for someone who's fighting their battle, but they're also a safe haven for those who aren't quite ready yet.