My Father...The End

...the door opens, my father walks in taking in big gasps of air as if he was exhausted. I don't think about anything bad, I just think that he's only tired so I mind my own business and just surf the net. Seconds later, my dad calls me in "go get your mom!" not thinking about the worst, i quickly look for her. There she is, on the side of the house cutting a tree down, they were both working to get the tree branches outta our house's way. I call to her, "MOM! Dad needs you!" she stops what she does and goes inside...my father's pain gets worse. "Whats wrong dad?" I ask, no one says anything all I hear is the sound of my father clasping his chest and moving around in pain. My mother asks whats wrong...I got back to the computer and turn it off, my mother calls to me and tells me put put on some clothes (as I have on house clothes)...then she stops, no I'll call 911..."Whats wrong?" I ask again, my mom hesitates and asks what the number for 911 is?! She asks not because she's trying to be funny, not because she's stupid, but because she's scared! I tell her anyway, I get my dad a cup of water, he drinks it hoping that it'll stop or slow down whatever's happening to him. My mother is on the phone telling the people on the other end whats happening I rush to my father as he's slumped on the arm of the chair trying to relax, I rub his back the best I could and at the moment we all think his back is just hurting, my mother thinks its a stroke, I rub harder thinking in the back of my head "Please god, just let it be a back problem!" a few minutes pass, and my mother calls 911 again hoping they'll get here sooner, hoping they know where they're going as the hospital is almost a mile away...
My mother stays on the line and pleads "Please Hurry!" then she calls my fathers closest and best friend...a few seconds pass, my mother goes back on the phone and hopes the ambulance gets here on time. Minutes later, my fathers best friend comes in and helps us all. He calls 911 as well, luckily they finally arrive! Three tall men walk in, they asks whats wrong, they asks where it hurts, they asks if he can feel this, they do what they're trained to do. They take him to the hospital ASAP with my mother and best family friend behind trailing them. I stay home for my sister, and try to get a hold of her for she's spending the day with her boyfriend at a basketball game. I call a few more times hoping her phone is on untill she finally calls back! I tell her the situation. All is well at the moment, My mom's best friend calls my mother's cell, I pick up, she says my mother's name, i tell her that she's not her and inform her of the situation so far she hangs up and from my heart I can tell she's on her way to the hospital. My brother calls, I inform him as well.

An hour passes, and I'm at the hospital with everyone...

"Only two people allowed in the emergency room" the girl at the front desk says...
We respect the hospital's policy, only I let my sister and my mother's best friend go in. I turn to the waiting room and wait along with three good family friends, one being my sister's boyfriend. A few hours pass, another family friend arrives, few minutes later my brother arrives. My sister comes in the room, I ask her if everything's alright!? She replies with "Ya, he's doing fine..." No problems here...
I want to see my father, yet at the same time I hesistate to ask and feel this scared and sick feeling. So I say nothing, moments later the room is open again, only this time my sister and one of our close friends goes in to see him. The sick and scared feeling gets a bit worse...minutes pass, a child playing in the childs play pen is in a small argument with his father, the father seems like one who gets irritated easily "Your sitting on my hand! Get Off!" I hear him say to his son. A girl in a wheelchair goes by the vending machines "Would you like some assistance?" a woman, who at the same time is getting a cold drink; asks "No" the girl replys, instead she wheel's herself over to the window and asks who I think is her mother and they both tend to vending machines.

Another hour passes

My sister arrives in a few tears, "Whats wrong?" my brother asks...they walk over a few feet away from everyone, I lean in and try to listen in...they tell me that my father needs to be airlifted to another hospital with a better facility to better treat him and so we all wait for the helicopter to arrive. "Maybe I should have seen him first, Maybe I should have seen him first" those words run through my head over and over until finally the 'copter arrives. We are all directed to a private waiting room...I walk in and see my mother with her face all in tears, our friends comfort her and then we all go back to the waiting game yet I walk to my mother "Whats happening?" she doesn't answer but I stay by her side anyway...then suddenly, the doctor comes in and asks one family member to come to my fathers side, my mother runs over without hesistation! The doctor opens the door to the emergency room my father is in "NOO!" I hear my mother scream, my brother runs immediately to her side "Mom?..whats wrong?" everyone is in sobs while one of my friends hides his tears in the corner...I shed my own as well and chant to myself "Please god, Please god, Please god..." over and over, then it happens "Noo!" I hear my mother again only this time my brother runs out and gets me and my sister!

I run to the room, and as soon as I open the door, my heart sinks in with my soul like a black hole devouring the moon! Beep, BEEP! Beep, BEEP! Beep BEEP!, the machines sounds off, I hear the doctor trying his best pumping my fathers chest hoping to get his heart beating again. I pace back and forth chanting over again "Please god, Please god..." until finally...


"I'm Sorry..."

On March 23rd, Easter Sunday 2008 around 4:30 to 5 pm, my father died...the doctor said one of his arteries had opened and was bleeding on the inside and they could not stop it
This is pretty much the hardest thing I have ever written/blogged/typed about. Yes, its all true...I had to put my feelings out there for I have no other way of feeling better...Whether or whether not if my father had made it to the other hospital and gotten better, i do not know...no one knows
All I know, is that I miss him so much right now and I do not know what to do yet I'll try my best at life because I know thats what he wants me to do...

I Love you pops...