Hold On...If You Feel Like Letting Go.... ((Well my rope's snapped...))

Honestly lately I don't know how I've survived without stabbing myself. Sure, I've cut but still, that didn't help enough.

Last night I cried myself to sleep. Now I'm crying again. I'm sick of everything going on. I honestly can't handle this and need to get out. I'm tired of all the fights and smoke.

This can't ALL be my fault, but maybe it is. Maybe I was that horrible of child... I know my mom wishes she could start over. I didn't turn out right...ITs hard to coming from white trash basically.

My dad has agirlfriend and he smokes still. I can't stand hiding the fact I know he has teh girlfriend.

I can't stand holding all my feelings way. I just can't, its too hard to and I don't know what to do. I'm sick of being the fat one too. I'm sick of my parents not eating and being obese.

I'm sick of feeling I'm never good enough. I can't ever please anyone....there fore neither can I please myself.

I feel the pressure to be 5'6 and 100 pounds instead of 148, I feel the pressure to get all A's instead of A's,B's,and C's.

I feel the pressure to pay bills and be the "man of the house".

I just can't handle this all.

I'm honestly not a child. I'm an adult.
Posted on May 12th, 2008 at 10:27pm

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