Teletubbies
Okay, I really don't want people to yell at me for making this blog, but it's something that seriously puzzles me ... kind of.
On Friday, my friend Grace and I (on here her username is something like Vampire Pimpitute) went to one of the function rooms at a theme park we live by with some other girls in our choir and our music teacher to sing for this church gathering. Afterwards, we were all sat around drinking really strong cordial orange juice and eating weird short bread biscuits with smiley faces on them that said 100% butter.
There was a picture on this projector screen of the Blackpool illuminations with three alien like cartoon lights on them. This started the conversation of teletubbies. We had a serious talk about the craziness of the whole show, and came up with some questions about it.
1. How can you tell if a Teletubby is a boy or a girl?
Seriously, there is no way to determine if we're talking femmetub or masctub. I had always been under the impression Po was a boy, but apparently she's a girl. What's up with that? And Tinky Winky is a boy but he has a red handbag? I don't have a problem with cross dressers or anything, but he is also found dancing in Laa Laa's tutu from time to time. Surely they'd give him more masculine objects and hobbies if he's the only boy? Or is Dipsy a boy too? I just don't know!
2. Where do they get food from?
Let's think about this.
In Teletubby land there are only:
- Four Teletubbies
- One living hoover (Noo-Noo)
- A shit load of rabbits.
- Flowers that talk
- A laughing baby trapped in a sun.
Where, oh where, do they get their crazy putty-like pink tubby custard and tubby toast? And how the hell do they live off that stuff? Haven't they heard of water? And how do they eat toast? They don't even have teeth!
3. How old are the teletubbies?
Themselves, I mean, not the show. Because, er, HELLO - they all play about a million instruments each! Either they're just crazy natural musicians, or they've had some seriously long years of practice. Let's see...
Tinky Winky plays the saxophone, flute, bassoon, clarinet, piccolo, oboe, recorder, English horn, and contrabassoon.
Laa Laa plays the xylophone, triangle, bass drum, snare drum, cymbals, timpani, castanets, maracas, tambourine, and glockenspiel.
Dipsy plays the trumpet, French horn, trombone, tuba, cornet, sousaphone, and euphonium.
Po plays the harp, violin, viola, cello, double bass, guitar, banjo, and mandolin.
THAT RED THING CAN PALY A HARP? WHAT THE FUDGE?!
So. They can all play a ton of instruments, yet they talk like burbling idiots? I don't know, schools these days...
4. Tubbytronic Superdome
That's right. The Tubster household. How did they buy this thing? Did another crazy fuzzy teletubby come along and be all like,
"akjdgndalgakg adogua aodughaldga?"
(translation: do you wanna buy this house? I r an estate agent lollll)
and then Laa Laa was like
"djlg dglhdagao alnfafna fgnaldkga anln!"
(translation: hell yes we do! here, have this fudging cheque!)
Is that how it happened? IS THAT IT?!
They have the minds of three year olds! How did they buy this house that looks like something people in the 60's would have said the houses in the Millenium looks like?
I'm telling you guys, it's weird! Despite the fact that this show made up most of my childhood, now I see it for what it truly is - TOTALLYCRACKEDUPCRAZYOMG!
And just for the record, most of this is a joke. Okay, the questions are real - seriously, did the producers of this show even CONSIDER these things? - but for the most part, it's just for a laugh :]
This blog will probably be stoned and have rotten fruit thrown at it for being stupid, but I felt like writing and this is what I wrote.
On Friday, my friend Grace and I (on here her username is something like Vampire Pimpitute) went to one of the function rooms at a theme park we live by with some other girls in our choir and our music teacher to sing for this church gathering. Afterwards, we were all sat around drinking really strong cordial orange juice and eating weird short bread biscuits with smiley faces on them that said 100% butter.
There was a picture on this projector screen of the Blackpool illuminations with three alien like cartoon lights on them. This started the conversation of teletubbies. We had a serious talk about the craziness of the whole show, and came up with some questions about it.
1. How can you tell if a Teletubby is a boy or a girl?
Seriously, there is no way to determine if we're talking femmetub or masctub. I had always been under the impression Po was a boy, but apparently she's a girl. What's up with that? And Tinky Winky is a boy but he has a red handbag? I don't have a problem with cross dressers or anything, but he is also found dancing in Laa Laa's tutu from time to time. Surely they'd give him more masculine objects and hobbies if he's the only boy? Or is Dipsy a boy too? I just don't know!
2. Where do they get food from?
Let's think about this.
In Teletubby land there are only:
- Four Teletubbies
- One living hoover (Noo-Noo)
- A shit load of rabbits.
- Flowers that talk
- A laughing baby trapped in a sun.
Where, oh where, do they get their crazy putty-like pink tubby custard and tubby toast? And how the hell do they live off that stuff? Haven't they heard of water? And how do they eat toast? They don't even have teeth!
3. How old are the teletubbies?
Themselves, I mean, not the show. Because, er, HELLO - they all play about a million instruments each! Either they're just crazy natural musicians, or they've had some seriously long years of practice. Let's see...
Tinky Winky plays the saxophone, flute, bassoon, clarinet, piccolo, oboe, recorder, English horn, and contrabassoon.
Laa Laa plays the xylophone, triangle, bass drum, snare drum, cymbals, timpani, castanets, maracas, tambourine, and glockenspiel.
Dipsy plays the trumpet, French horn, trombone, tuba, cornet, sousaphone, and euphonium.
Po plays the harp, violin, viola, cello, double bass, guitar, banjo, and mandolin.
THAT RED THING CAN PALY A HARP? WHAT THE FUDGE?!
So. They can all play a ton of instruments, yet they talk like burbling idiots? I don't know, schools these days...
4. Tubbytronic Superdome
That's right. The Tubster household. How did they buy this thing? Did another crazy fuzzy teletubby come along and be all like,
"akjdgndalgakg adogua aodughaldga?"
(translation: do you wanna buy this house? I r an estate agent lollll)
and then Laa Laa was like
"djlg dglhdagao alnfafna fgnaldkga anln!"
(translation: hell yes we do! here, have this fudging cheque!)
Is that how it happened? IS THAT IT?!
They have the minds of three year olds! How did they buy this house that looks like something people in the 60's would have said the houses in the Millenium looks like?
I'm telling you guys, it's weird! Despite the fact that this show made up most of my childhood, now I see it for what it truly is - TOTALLYCRACKEDUPCRAZYOMG!
And just for the record, most of this is a joke. Okay, the questions are real - seriously, did the producers of this show even CONSIDER these things? - but for the most part, it's just for a laugh :]
This blog will probably be stoned and have rotten fruit thrown at it for being stupid, but I felt like writing and this is what I wrote.
Comments
Page 1/2 | Next
thank you :]
a handsome zwitter, June 14th, 2008 at 01:25:57pm
Genius. Pure genius.
Rite Of Spring, June 12th, 2008 at 11:35:19pm
Also, Dipsy is very tanned compared to his friends.
Well, at least they're not racist!
germma margaret!, May 21st, 2008 at 11:49:19am
lmao, this is great :D
I always was under the impression that Tinky-Winky and Dipsy were males. Laa-Laa and Po were girls.
I liked Dipsy, cause he was green and wore a cow print top hat!
idk.
ROZY-LYNN., May 21st, 2008 at 04:23:52am
LOL.
i love the teletubbies.
but i hate when they show the little clip of kids doing boring stuff on their tummy tv's. :[
Mark Hoppus., May 21st, 2008 at 02:04:50am
OMG
that made lol so much.
ahah.
teletubbies scare me.
Angelic Fruitcake, May 20th, 2008 at 10:18:16pm
xDDD lmfao
This made me laugh so hard.
I never watched this show as a kid though. I dunno which one's which. D:
Amazingly Poprocks, May 20th, 2008 at 04:42:52pm
I laughed SO HARD at this!
Especially 'laughing baby trapped in sun' because I always found that so confusing as a child. Like, does the baby sun control tubby-land? Really, a baby?
germma margaret!, May 20th, 2008 at 12:17:52pm
That's awesome, lol, I love the real estate part!
Riot on the Radio, May 20th, 2008 at 08:59:55am
LMFAO!LMFAO!
I always hated the Teletubbies.
They effing scared me
o_o
Brian May, May 19th, 2008 at 08:56:29pm
omg lmfao x]
a handsome zwitter, May 19th, 2008 at 07:06:08pm
I thought the green one was Tipsy.
I was all, woah, is he like, constantly on the verge of being drunk?
That would explain alot actually. XDD
Mindy Rae, May 19th, 2008 at 07:00:23pm
XD
lmfao dipsy in the picture
his pose is well suggestive 8)
lmfao wtf @ all the instruments XD
sickhead vampires, May 19th, 2008 at 05:53:57pm
thanksss you guys rock :D
a handsome zwitter, May 19th, 2008 at 08:53:55am
This just so made me giggle my ass off.
Thakn you for brightening my day :]
Jessie.Tastic!, May 19th, 2008 at 06:04:44am