The year has ended and so has my fun.
FRESHMEN YEAR.
As seen on t.v. Freshmen year is supposed to be the worst, the year that everyone either fears, or gets killed during. But in reality, it's the year I found myself.
Looking back, it doesn't feel like a year has passed. It seems like just yesterday, as cliche as that sounds.It seems like just yesterday I walked up to my locker, dreading the stares or the taunts I was sure would come. I remember how my hands shook terribly as I fiddled with the lock on my locker. I remember fearing I'd have no friends in first period English. I remember sitting next to Adam in second period art. And laughing at songs as if to ease the tension in my body. I remember practically running to gym, knowing my best friend was in there. And everything was going to be okay. I remember laughing at Mrs. Rhoades during fourth period with my friends. And meeting new people in math class. It feels like just yesterday I was going home, telling my mom how my first day went.
Throughout the year a lot of changes were made, not only within myself but within my friends as well. I never would have dreamed Josh would be home schooled. Or Morgan would get pregnant. Or I'd actually grow to hate Mr. Webb regardless of how attractive I found him. I never would have expected Chelsae to just give up on me. And Chelsea (note: Chelsae and Chelsea are two different people.) would grow to be my new best friend.
But through it all, I've finally accepted myself. I've grown to love my body and my personality and my life.
Knowing the years to come won't compare is unbearable. I know I can carry on taking pride in myself, but knowing things won't be the same quite frankly, scares me to death. Knowing no matter how many times I pray and no matter how many 11:11's I catch, Freshman year is not coming back. It hurts me a lot.
Never again will these events take place. I'll never walk into Ms. K's class and laugh with Chelsea about the creepy guys she dates. D'Eric will never come back to my desk to get the answers to science homework, even though we're only in first period. I'll never talk to Anthony about the guys he likes while Ms. K gives us strange looks. I'll never walk into art and hit Mikey with a ruler and tell Lindsay "he likes it." I'll never talk to Scott about music and movies and books, even though he's too "tough" to like either. Nothing that's happened will ever happen again.
For now I can only hope I'll never forget these memories. They're always going to be with me, and I know that. I just hope everyone else remembers too. And I hope Freshmen year has made as big of an impact on their lives as it has mine.
As seen on t.v. Freshmen year is supposed to be the worst, the year that everyone either fears, or gets killed during. But in reality, it's the year I found myself.
Looking back, it doesn't feel like a year has passed. It seems like just yesterday, as cliche as that sounds.It seems like just yesterday I walked up to my locker, dreading the stares or the taunts I was sure would come. I remember how my hands shook terribly as I fiddled with the lock on my locker. I remember fearing I'd have no friends in first period English. I remember sitting next to Adam in second period art. And laughing at songs as if to ease the tension in my body. I remember practically running to gym, knowing my best friend was in there. And everything was going to be okay. I remember laughing at Mrs. Rhoades during fourth period with my friends. And meeting new people in math class. It feels like just yesterday I was going home, telling my mom how my first day went.
Throughout the year a lot of changes were made, not only within myself but within my friends as well. I never would have dreamed Josh would be home schooled. Or Morgan would get pregnant. Or I'd actually grow to hate Mr. Webb regardless of how attractive I found him. I never would have expected Chelsae to just give up on me. And Chelsea (note: Chelsae and Chelsea are two different people.) would grow to be my new best friend.
But through it all, I've finally accepted myself. I've grown to love my body and my personality and my life.
Knowing the years to come won't compare is unbearable. I know I can carry on taking pride in myself, but knowing things won't be the same quite frankly, scares me to death. Knowing no matter how many times I pray and no matter how many 11:11's I catch, Freshman year is not coming back. It hurts me a lot.
Never again will these events take place. I'll never walk into Ms. K's class and laugh with Chelsea about the creepy guys she dates. D'Eric will never come back to my desk to get the answers to science homework, even though we're only in first period. I'll never talk to Anthony about the guys he likes while Ms. K gives us strange looks. I'll never walk into art and hit Mikey with a ruler and tell Lindsay "he likes it." I'll never talk to Scott about music and movies and books, even though he's too "tough" to like either. Nothing that's happened will ever happen again.
For now I can only hope I'll never forget these memories. They're always going to be with me, and I know that. I just hope everyone else remembers too. And I hope Freshmen year has made as big of an impact on their lives as it has mine.
i never gave up on you meg :molly:
i never will.
i realize that i wasnt there for u alot of the time..like i shouldve been. the truth is..i was always trying to find myself this year. everyday seemed like this never ending maize that i couldnt find the exit..i shut myself down most of the time. for the longest time..i wouldnt look ppl in the eye..and i wouldnt talk to a whole lot of ppl. i wish this year coulda been better between us. you are a great person..just like Chile Stud said. you are probably the most amazing girl ive ever met! i mean come on..how much sh*t have we been thru ? think about that and try not to laugh..believe me..it's a tough one. :) even if we do seperate in the future, know that it's not completely..and im always a phone call away. no matter what happens, you will always be "my best friend" because there is honestly noone else that i can feel so brave around. i can be myself with u. i can cry, laugh, act like a complete fool around you, and you accept it for me. and i wanna say thank you. thank you for putting up with me for all these years. thanks for always being there...even when i was too blind to notice u were still there. thank you for everything meg..i love you to death! <3
Drugstore.Hooligan, July 2nd, 2008 at 01:52:49am
There will always be memories that I've had with certain people. Even though things have changed the laughs & smiles will still be there. I'm glad you had a great year. =)
threeam., June 12th, 2008 at 02:06:59am
All I remember was 9th grade was the Worst Year of my life.
no joke.
Rain, June 11th, 2008 at 04:32:42am
I know exactly what you mean, last year grade 9 was the best. I have so many good memories with my friends, and I actually enjoyed going to school. I was happy with everything in my life. I think about grade 9 almost every day wanting it back. So, you're not alone : )
I AM AMANDA, June 11th, 2008 at 04:22:12am
We all pass through this and we all feel bad by leaving our mates behind in the course of our lives. Still, keeping these memories alive is also a part of it all. I know how it is, because I left behind several important people that I might never see again but I remember them when they come to mind.
You're a great person and I'm sure all your quoted friends thinks so of you too and will also remember of you as such. Carry on, and live your life better, with all the lessons you learned. It's part of the journey.
Chile Stud, June 11th, 2008 at 03:49:28am