Somewhere, In The Middle Of Winter ..
18/11/1999
It’s just another rainy day somewhere in the middle of winter. There’s a woman in front of a window. She looks about twenty something, she looks like every other woman at her age, but she’s different. You can spot the pain inside her heart once you look at her beautiful but cold eyes. She’s standing in front of the window, looking at the some kids playing in the snow.
It was so beautiful when she was a little kid too. Her heart felt so alive back then. Oh how she wished she could turn back time. Everything started then, somewhere in her teen years. Everything felt so simple then, going through things seemed so easy and now, look at her, she’s sitting there with her cold, sad eyes, remembering things. Thinking about her school years, and then, her first love that was a big mistake. The first mistake brought a second one and now there she is, sitting on her own waiting for the day that everything will end, because this is all her fault.
She can’t stand watching those little, sweet kids playing with each other on the street while her own kid is so far away from her. Why? Why isn’t she allowed to touch her own kid? Why can’t she listen her kid crying? Why did he take her daughter away from her? She can see the end coming towards her. No one can understand how she feels. And the sunlight is starting to fade, along with her life.
Then, she opens the window and she wants to be near those sweet kids, even if she doesn’t know them. She wants to play with them, talk to them, hug them. Do with them the things she could never do with her own child. It is dark outside. The kids left, just like that woman. She just leaves her last breath there, on the streets the kids were playing.
__________________________________________________________________
Okay, I didn’t write that. In fact, someone really close to me wrote it. Someone I love with all my heart. That someone has suffered so much because of me. And even if she doubts it some times, I love her with all my heart .. She is my hero and I wish I could be everything she wants me to be. But no one's perfect. I am sorry I cannot reach your expectations for me. I really appreciate what you have done for me and I am sorry I make you cry sometimes. Don't think that I have never seen you cry, I have. You are so beautiful, even when your eyes are puffy and red. I am sorry. I love you.
It’s just another rainy day somewhere in the middle of winter. There’s a woman in front of a window. She looks about twenty something, she looks like every other woman at her age, but she’s different. You can spot the pain inside her heart once you look at her beautiful but cold eyes. She’s standing in front of the window, looking at the some kids playing in the snow.
It was so beautiful when she was a little kid too. Her heart felt so alive back then. Oh how she wished she could turn back time. Everything started then, somewhere in her teen years. Everything felt so simple then, going through things seemed so easy and now, look at her, she’s sitting there with her cold, sad eyes, remembering things. Thinking about her school years, and then, her first love that was a big mistake. The first mistake brought a second one and now there she is, sitting on her own waiting for the day that everything will end, because this is all her fault.
She can’t stand watching those little, sweet kids playing with each other on the street while her own kid is so far away from her. Why? Why isn’t she allowed to touch her own kid? Why can’t she listen her kid crying? Why did he take her daughter away from her? She can see the end coming towards her. No one can understand how she feels. And the sunlight is starting to fade, along with her life.
Then, she opens the window and she wants to be near those sweet kids, even if she doesn’t know them. She wants to play with them, talk to them, hug them. Do with them the things she could never do with her own child. It is dark outside. The kids left, just like that woman. She just leaves her last breath there, on the streets the kids were playing.
__________________________________________________________________
Okay, I didn’t write that. In fact, someone really close to me wrote it. Someone I love with all my heart. That someone has suffered so much because of me. And even if she doubts it some times, I love her with all my heart .. She is my hero and I wish I could be everything she wants me to be. But no one's perfect. I am sorry I cannot reach your expectations for me. I really appreciate what you have done for me and I am sorry I make you cry sometimes. Don't think that I have never seen you cry, I have. You are so beautiful, even when your eyes are puffy and red. I am sorry. I love you.
nicole, this was the prettiest thing ever, especially the end. ily.
read my mind, July 21st, 2008 at 06:26:37am
That's the most beautiful thing ever *hugs*
I don't have anything more to say than that
It's amazing
Donna H., July 20th, 2008 at 11:57:16pm
omg.
nicole,
that was amazingly powerful,
even if it wasn't written by you.
I really have no idea what it means,
but it must be something very hard to
think about.
ily.
Fallop!an Cwac Cwac., July 20th, 2008 at 11:36:48pm