Whats Wrong With Me? Contains TRIGGERS
Whats wrong with me? I'm constantly making my body go hungry or not getting hungry at all. I hate how I look. I hate my size.
I keep restricting food and even drink. I try not to allow myself anything until like noon. And then I try to only drink something at meals.
I don't know if somethings wrong or not. I just tell everyone I'm sick, and they believe it. I hate eating.
I don't know if its because my brother criticizes what I eat or not. I feel like I should be eating like 1000 calories or less a day. I honestly feel guilty for eating and want to puke. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of being the fat girl again this year.
I hate this all. I really do. I hate food. Food's me enemy. Its like its here to kill me when supposedly in reality its here to do the exact opposite. I have trouble believing that though.
Is there something wrong with me?
I keep restricting food and even drink. I try not to allow myself anything until like noon. And then I try to only drink something at meals.
I don't know if somethings wrong or not. I just tell everyone I'm sick, and they believe it. I hate eating.
I don't know if its because my brother criticizes what I eat or not. I feel like I should be eating like 1000 calories or less a day. I honestly feel guilty for eating and want to puke. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of being the fat girl again this year.
I hate this all. I really do. I hate food. Food's me enemy. Its like its here to kill me when supposedly in reality its here to do the exact opposite. I have trouble believing that though.
Is there something wrong with me?
Starving yourself may work for now, but when and if you start eating normaly again you'll gain weight a lot easier than if you cut down on certain foods and excercised. I know how you feel though with your brother, I told my sister to grow up the other day and she said "Why don't you lose some weight" And honestly, I could not care one bit what she thinks of me. I've heard it so many times from her, it has no meaning to me anymore. All I'm telling you is don't let someones opinion of you get in the way of how you think. I know it's hard, but you have to try. Sure, I'd lovee to be thin, I'd love to be a size 7 or 9 but I'm not. I want to be that size one day, and I'm sure one day you will be the size you want to be, but for now all you should be doing is being a teenager. I'm not saying let yourself go, just chill with the freaky weight thoughts and just eat healthy. You're a kid who's at a healthy weight, you should be atleast happy with that.
i am amanda, August 11th, 2008 at 12:49:56am
To be honest, I'm not going to say anything, because I've already told you what I think and what you should be worried about.
captain america, August 4th, 2008 at 10:41:25pm
Not eating isn't going to solve anything. That'll just make you worse. And your brother shouldn't critisise what you eat. You need to exercise.
Skippy., August 4th, 2008 at 04:50:35am
i don't know
ive been teh fat girl for so long
im sick of it
i just want to lose weight and quick
I lost 30 poundsi n three months awhile back.
now i want to loose like aout 30 more
Heroin Bob, August 4th, 2008 at 02:19:06am
I would never want to be a size 0, those women are twigs and tbh all the men i have spoken to aboutskinny women don't like them. sure they are alright to look at but thats it, most guys are scared they would snap in a hug. most guys look at skinny chicks but want to be with a girl with curves.
You do seem to fixate on your weight a lot. I have seen pictures of you and you look fairly normal (or average if you like) to me, not fat at all and not skinny at all, pretty much about a good healthy size.
to me being obese or 'way overweight' is having to turn sideways to get through a door. but i agree with dani, your thinking and self-perception is warped, you are not seeing what we see, a perfectly fine young woman.
Grandma, August 4th, 2008 at 02:13:21am
Triggers is a term used as a warning that it may spark something in your mind.
I don't know...I'd love to be a size 0....but I can't ever be. Im about 143 pounds and 5'6. I'd love to be 115 or 110
Heroin Bob, August 4th, 2008 at 02:01:26am
i don't know what "contains triggers" means, lol. if that means this is fake...then all i have to say to you is "PSHHH!!!" lol
BUT if this is real, i know how you feel.
when i was a freshman in high school i did the same thing, except i only ate one meal a day. well it was really more like half a meal a day. i didn't eat breakfast (i still don't, its just something i never have time for) and i would never eat lunch. for dinner, i mostly just pushed my food around, eating about half of it. i wasn't starving myself, really. i just never got hungry. that year i weighed like 105-115 pounds. and now that i eat i weigh like 140 and it sucks. i hate my body, i ALWAYS feel guilty every time i eat something, but i know that i used to pretty much be anorexic, and i was unhealthy. the sad thing is, if you eat like i ate and like you are eating now, if you ever start eating normally you gain a bunch of weight really fast...i went from a size 3 my freshman year to a size 7 my sophomore year and by the time i was a junior, i was a size 11. i'm back down to about an 8 or 9 now, but i still need to lose weight. i'd like to end up a size 5...
haha you probably don't care about what size i wear. but anyway, i know how you feel and it sucks. i wish i was still anorexic, but i know its not healthy. now i don't gain weight every time i eat, so i'm getting better.
in my opinion, theres nothing wrong with you. but you have to try to force yourself to eat at least two full meals a day. once you stop eating...its hard to start up again and you gain weight like crazy. you just have to learn to eat healthy foods and exercise a bit.
suburban.zombie, August 4th, 2008 at 01:58:57am
I know what you mean. and there's something wrong with this. yes. You need to try your hardest to eat. try not to concentrate on it, and don't think about the calories. go see a doctor. this is something that an online friend, or even a in-person friend cannot fix for you. you need to go to a doctor or a councillor. this can get extremely serious. do it while you can still get help and change.
Bubble Wrap., August 4th, 2008 at 01:54:02am