being a woman... WTF? (guys, don't be scared of the title, you can also comment)
ok... this is something i've been thinking about lately...
wow, i don't know how to start this...
okay so... i've thought a lot about my identity and my appereance and such. i've never been a girly girl. i dress into basketball shoes, t-shirts, hoodies, jeans etc. i feel kinda bad about that cause i look pretty young and i don't feel like a woman at all. also, i've never really wore make up before, which is something i've started to do, but i'm really bad at it.
and it confuses me.. how should girls/women look?
do you dress pretty for of men?
or for yourself...?
and if you say you dress pretty for yourself is that just a way to distract? you dress pretty, so you'd feel more confident around people. around guys. isn't that dressing for guys then?
i'm convinced no guy could ever be attracted to me. and though i don't talk about it, it makes me very unhappy. i have a huge need to be loved, but i'm really scared. i've been trying to "change" myself lately to feel better about my appereance, but today i kinda felt like... "fuck it. why should girls go trough all that trouble when guys don't give a fuck about how they look?!"
i'm torn apart between my desire to be loved and wanted by a man, and between my own will and liberty to look like i want. well okay, i do want to look pretty, but tbh, most of the time i'm just too lazy to or i don't know how to.
and you know when they say stuff like "every woman is beautiful". well, we all know this is a lie, right? i mean, there are gorgeous people, there are mediocre people, and then there are ugly people. that is true, i don't care what you say. (i'm not sure though if im mediocre or ugly. i know i sometimes feel really ugly.)
and the way women are pressured by media to spend all their money to look nice. is this wrong or is it good for us? is it good for us to feel pretty, to feel wanted?
i feel better about my looks that i used to, but i'm still not ready... i'm not ready to be a woman. i feel like a little girl. there are girls in my age who are tall and beautiful and they look like WOMEN. and then i look at myself and i forget why am i alive. and i think "you stupid little girl. how could anyone love you when you don't even look like a woman". i'm so short, i hate it. i'm sick of feeling like a child. i need a man to want me. i need it to feel like a real person.
at one point i already thought i've found my style, but then i sometimes feel like i'm not good enough. i like the clothes on me now, but they're not beautiful. i'm not beautiful.
am i weak for wanting to change myself for this?
and what do you say... are girls dressed in hoodies and basketball shoes less women that the ladies wearing high heals, skirts and sexy blouses?
and guys... please tell me, are you at all attracted to girls that don't like girly stuff?
wow, i don't know how to start this...
okay so... i've thought a lot about my identity and my appereance and such. i've never been a girly girl. i dress into basketball shoes, t-shirts, hoodies, jeans etc. i feel kinda bad about that cause i look pretty young and i don't feel like a woman at all. also, i've never really wore make up before, which is something i've started to do, but i'm really bad at it.
and it confuses me.. how should girls/women look?
do you dress pretty for of men?
or for yourself...?
and if you say you dress pretty for yourself is that just a way to distract? you dress pretty, so you'd feel more confident around people. around guys. isn't that dressing for guys then?
i'm convinced no guy could ever be attracted to me. and though i don't talk about it, it makes me very unhappy. i have a huge need to be loved, but i'm really scared. i've been trying to "change" myself lately to feel better about my appereance, but today i kinda felt like... "fuck it. why should girls go trough all that trouble when guys don't give a fuck about how they look?!"
i'm torn apart between my desire to be loved and wanted by a man, and between my own will and liberty to look like i want. well okay, i do want to look pretty, but tbh, most of the time i'm just too lazy to or i don't know how to.
and you know when they say stuff like "every woman is beautiful". well, we all know this is a lie, right? i mean, there are gorgeous people, there are mediocre people, and then there are ugly people. that is true, i don't care what you say. (i'm not sure though if im mediocre or ugly. i know i sometimes feel really ugly.)
and the way women are pressured by media to spend all their money to look nice. is this wrong or is it good for us? is it good for us to feel pretty, to feel wanted?
i feel better about my looks that i used to, but i'm still not ready... i'm not ready to be a woman. i feel like a little girl. there are girls in my age who are tall and beautiful and they look like WOMEN. and then i look at myself and i forget why am i alive. and i think "you stupid little girl. how could anyone love you when you don't even look like a woman". i'm so short, i hate it. i'm sick of feeling like a child. i need a man to want me. i need it to feel like a real person.
at one point i already thought i've found my style, but then i sometimes feel like i'm not good enough. i like the clothes on me now, but they're not beautiful. i'm not beautiful.
am i weak for wanting to change myself for this?
and what do you say... are girls dressed in hoodies and basketball shoes less women that the ladies wearing high heals, skirts and sexy blouses?
and guys... please tell me, are you at all attracted to girls that don't like girly stuff?
Comments
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To me you're stunning.
personally i dress for myself. If i dress for another girl or guy then i'm not being ture to who i am & in turn they wouldnt fall for me but for the person i'm trying to be.
Camisado couldn't have said anything more like what i have to say. You should listen to her.
tbh, its not all about looks. A lot of it has to do with confidence . A lot of girls wear make-up & fancy clothes because they feel more confident in them & it shows.Thats somethng a lot of men and women are attracted to. It's Confidence.
If you can wear shorts and hoodies & feel confident in who you are, you'll be up to your ears in men.
last note. Puberty happens at different times. Other ladies may look more womanly because they had a head start. Wait for puberty to be finished, you'll definatly be more womenly then.
feel free to PM & talk.
AMBOOBneedshelp, August 11th, 2008 at 09:10:19am
what a lot of people dont realize is that looks dont change your personality. i dress in hightops,jeans and band shirts. no make up. yet a lot of people say im really pretty. i dont think that. seriously, guys who would really like you would be the guys who would say, "hey,cool green day shirt" or something. hell,you might meet some really cool guy at a rock concert. looks dont matter. if you think you look nice or if you like what you're wearing,dont change yourself for someone else. and most of the 'pretty' girls in skirts and heels,they would rather go out and spend a lot of money for sh*t that actually hurts to wear. dont chang your style if you like it.
Psychotic, August 7th, 2008 at 07:40:23pm
"i'm convinced no guy could ever be attracted to me." Don't ever doubt that, I'm sure there's someone out there that thinks you're fine! :tehe: We all go through stages in life where we think we're the most ugliest person ever, I've been there. But yeah, everyone is beautiful, in their own way. And no one is ugly at all. You might think they're ugly on the outside, but deep down they could be the best person you've ever met if you actually got to know them. That's what I believe. But that's not the point ... Dress how you want to dress. It doesn't matter if it's girly or boy-ish, it's your style, do what you like. The way you dress can give off clues about what your personality is like. There's always going to be guys who are into girls with make up and pretty dresses, but there's always going to be guys who dig the girls with basketball shoes and ripped jeans too. And personally, I don't think it's clothes or appearance what makes a person beautiful.
the beatles., August 6th, 2008 at 08:28:22am
if you ever wanna talk to me about this or anything else you know I'm be more than happy to discuss it with you.
oh and about the hair and make-up stuff, I do my own hair & make-up now but when I was in school I went through phases of wearing make-up, then not wearing it and then wearing it again & then not wearing it again...but like I do my own hair & make-up as a way of expression, you know? I don't aspire to look like a Barbie doll, put it that way. I love punk as do yourself so I like to think my apperance and my personality have punk ethics, so to speak.
Trusty Chords., August 6th, 2008 at 02:03:30am
man, I don't know what to say...I've been in your crisis situation before.. where literally guys not being interested in me whatsoever has driven me over the edge and made me think "what am I doing being this?" and wanting to change completely. I'm still kind of in that situation but not so much wanting to change myself but more angered me & just stuck with the things in life that make me the most happy and give all guys the finger. Hell, it's driven me over the edge so much that I'm not even sure about my sexuality anymore. You know I have low self-esteem just like you, Miss N [I really wanna call you Suzi or su one day..it'd remind me so much of my best friend Suzi :D] so I can totally relate to all of this.
The media also angers me at their blatent air-brushing of modles to make them appear perfect when in real life they have flaws just like you and me and everyone.
I feel like I want to be loved too but then laugh and think "Who would ever love me?"
I'll leave you with one of my favourite Trio lyrics to help you;
"Just some words of advice, maybe you've heard them before but here goes
Just be true to yourself, if it lands you in hell, well, at least now you know.
-If You Had A Bad Time, written and sung by Danny A [he owns me..along with D and Matt.]
Trusty Chords., August 6th, 2008 at 01:54:01am
I don't believe a woman needs to wear makeup, do their hair, and wear 'nice' clothes to be pretty. hell. you can be beautiful by wearing sweat pants, a hoodie, no makeup and tears running down your face. the media has screwed everyone's heads, and given every girl low self esteem if they don't dress and look the way they want us to. I just dress how I want. I dress in the clothes I think are cute. I dress in the clothes I like. I don't care really what others think. although if it's like...a 'proper' outing..I wear a nice top and jeans. i don't live for guys. althoughI am the same as you. I have a need to be loved. and I'm sure I won't have a guy for a long time...simply because I find myself extremely hideous. I'm short and fat, and I don't know how any guy could like me. but hey, every girl is beautiful in some way. some people see girls that most think are ugly, as beautiful. you don't need to wear makeup if you don't want to, but even online friends can help you with that..and your hair and clothes if you want. I'm always here if you wanna talk or have questions! =D goodluck.
Bubble Wrap., August 5th, 2008 at 09:25:41pm
when i look in the mirror i don't see a female. i see a pile of crap most of the time.
how can you say that? you're pretty! but it doesn't even matter how you look. it matters about who you are personality wise. a guy can fall in love with the most gorgeous girl in the world, then never want to see her face again because he found out who she really was. btw, i dress in basketball shorts most the time. LOL i haven't worn a dress in years, no joke. i like jeans and t-shirts. and guys may just see that as a girl who doesn't care what people think. or a girl that isn't high maintenance.
get famous, August 5th, 2008 at 09:08:56pm
John Wayne doesn't liek high heels.
Flan, August 5th, 2008 at 03:31:39pm
and hey... where does the line go... changing for yourself or changing for someone else?
Baby Bondage, August 5th, 2008 at 12:16:12pm
anddddd... i agree with kitten boy that someone always has it worse... hahaha XD which i'm very grateful about.
but honestly... who prefers shy, loser...ish girls...?? o.O
Baby Bondage, August 5th, 2008 at 11:53:41am
i agree it doesnt matter what you wear if a guy likes you for you then he will not care what you wear and no there are no catigories in beauty maybe a lil chessey of me but all girls are beautiful in there own personal way. your not weak for wanting to change yourself but at the same time your betraying who you are.
CHEMKILLER, August 5th, 2008 at 11:27:08am
thanks, guys :)
and i do have a really bad self esteen issue, thank you. haha :D
ok... but this is the deal... what if i'd feel better about myself looking more like a woman? should i then do it? cause that's my problem... i don't know.
when i look in the mirror i don't see a female. i see a pile of crap most of the time.
Baby Bondage, August 5th, 2008 at 11:04:32am
the right guy won't care what you wear.
don't wear clothes that aren't what you feel comfotable in/like. if you pretend to be that girly girl, you may attract a guy looking for a girly girl. then, when you two are deeper into the relationship you might feel more comfortable and switch back to your old self...then he might think you were trying to be something you weren't.
its better to just be yourself, you'll find who you are and who the right person is.
reject08, August 5th, 2008 at 05:28:18am
dude, looking in a f*cking mirror. you are pretty.
anywhoos, i get where you're coming from, though.
to me a woman is someone who doesn't let society
beat her down. and nimrodidiot said it all for me. =]
wonderful blog.
get famous, August 5th, 2008 at 04:29:17am
First off, you have a really bad self esteem issue.
Always remember one thing, no matter how bad you have it, there is someone who has it worse.
As for being attractive, that goes all in taste. No really, different guys have different taste in girls. It sounds kinda messed up, but its pretty natural. Some guys perfer the girly girl, and some guys dont. Some guys perfer the shy girl like yourself, and some dont. Theres always gonna be someone out there who is attracted to you, weather you find them or not.
Blarg!, August 5th, 2008 at 04:09:34am