Take a shower bitch!

Master Cheechoo is back!! It's been a while but part 2 to my 3 part series is here. If you haven't figured it out yet, I will teach you fools how to take a shower.

First and foremost I will clear some things up for all of you. I'm sure you're all thinking : "what's a shower?" or "who is that man?". To answer the first question I will turn you over to Mr. Webster. His definition of a shower is as follows : "a bath in which water is showered on the body; also : the apparatus that provides a shower". To answer the second question would just be a waste of my time and yours.

Now that you fully understand WHAT a shower is, I will teach you WHEN the shower was invented. One can not take a shower without fully understanding the history behind it.

The year was 1810. During this year the first "modern day" shower was made, the "English Regency Shower". Made of metal painted to look like bamboo, the shower consisted of a basin with a drain on the bottom and a hidden tank at the top, joined by poles about 10 feet long. A pump arrangement on the lower basin forced water up to the top basin through one hollow pole and then down over the bather’s head. The only drawback was that the same water was reused time and time again. It wasn't until the late 1890's that showers became similar to what they are today.


Now that you understand the WHAT and the WHEN, it's time to explain the WHY. I'm sure by now you're all thinking "Uncle Cheechoo, why must we shower?". Well I'll tell you why, because if you don't YOU'LL STINK!

Moving on, it's very important that I teach you WHERE a shower is located. First, find the nearest bathroom location from where you are. Second, enter the bathroom. Third, look around your bathroom until you find something that looks like this :





The next thing I will tell you is the most important, the HOW. Follow my step by step instructions and you'll be a shower pro in no time!

Step 1 : GET NAKED!

Step 2: Enter your shower

Step 3 : Turn the water on. (hot or cold is your preference)

Step 4: Let the water pour down your body

Step 5 : Apply soap to your body and scrub scrub scrub! (please tell me you know what soap is!)

Step 6 : Apply shampoo to your hair and rub it until it turns into bubbles

Step 7: Rinse all the shampoo out of your hair (protect those eyes!) and all the soap off your body.

Step 8 : Turn the water off

Step 9 : Find a towell and dry yourself off

Step 10: At the top of your lungs yell : "I'm squeeky clean!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Congratulations! After reading this blog you should have successfully taken a shower! Make sure you take one at least once a day. How many you take is up to you though. Take 100 a day if it makes you feel good.

Keep an eye out for part 3 of this series. Now go out and take a shower you smelly children!