Walk in the sun.
(This is just about the best dream I've ever had, and yes, the guy in it is the guy I love. I've had this written for a while, but never had the guts to post it because I don't really like how it's written.)
I can't think of the last time I was this happy. The sun set is shining off your face, and highlighting your blue eyes, which are brighter than the sky itself. I want nothing more than to stare into your face for eternity, but I'm forced to look ahead of myself so I don't trip on my own two feet. Your hand is so gently, but tightly grasped in mine. Your fingers laced with mine, and all I can feel is your warmth and your soft skin pressing against mine. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks is so faint next to my ears, because I only long to hear the sound of your beloved voice, but all I can hear is your precious breathing.
You don't know it, but I can see you steal a glance and me and you smile; it feels like my heart has stopped, and I have to remind myself to breathe. Moments like this only make me wonder what, someone as perfect as you, sees in someone as imperfect as me.
As soon as we slow down and stop walking, you face me. I just stare into your perfect eyes and search them for answers, wondering what your next breath taking sentence will be. Everything you do and say is perfect; so pure, so I only wait with ease to hear that voice I love. The voice that keeps me alive each day.
Your skin is so pale, but I don't care, it's still beautiful to me. It's so flawless and smooth looking, but your chin is almost rough to touch. I don't care, because it reminds me of you, and it's you that I would die for. It's you that I love with all my heart.
Without wasting another moment, you let go of my hands like it's the hardest thing you've ever done, but carefully pull me into your arms. I rest my head on your chest, seeing as you're so much taller than I am. Breathing in that scent, whatever it is, puts more butterflies in my stomach that I feel like I'll be sick, but in a good way as always. You rest your head ontop of mine, and I can hear you quietly sing to me; the song that you wrote for me when you first told me the three words that saved my life. It's so quiet, but so loud in my ears and I let the voice of an angel take me away to another world.
When you pull away, it seems like the sun is almost drowned in water, and the stars are out watching over us again. I brush my hand through your soft hair, but never tearing away my gaze from your face.
Before I know it you've taken your hand in mine, and let me sit down on the couch in your beach front home. The fire place dancing with dim, orange glowing light. This is the home you built for me. Just for me. I remember you telling me that this is only a tiny fraction of things you would do for me. You told me you would always be there for me; and you have been. I told you to make sure it wasn't big, because as long as I had you, I'd be the happiest girl in the world. We both have stayed true to our words.
You're now holding me so tightly in your arms, as we both quietly listen to the popping sound of the fire. I can almost fall asleep, but I force myself not to; as I don't want to miss one moment with you. Only half awake, I smile and glance down at the plain, but stunning ring sitting softly on my ring finger. I smile at the memory of your proposal. That was one of the happiest days of my life, now that I think about it. Just knowing I could be yours for eternity, made me feel even safer than I do now sitting in your arms.
Sitting here with you, in your arms, just listening to your heart beat and soft breathing, makes me feel so much at home. I feel so safe; so complete. There are no words to describe this happiness.
I adjust my body to face you, and we both stare at each other for a short time. I softly kiss your delicate lips, and feel a surge of goosebumps cover my body as the butterflies rise in my stomach. I try to think of one part of you that isn't perfect, and I come to a blank. Our foreheads are resting against each others, as our bodies are tightly pressed together comfortably.
"I love you." I whisper to you.
Without hesitation, you whisper back to me, with such honesty, "I love you too."
You smile again, leaving me breathless, so I bury my head in your shoulder and just hug you, hoping that this moment will never end.
The moment I open my eyes, I find myself cold, and my heart is heavy again. I look around my dark room and find myself clinging to my bed covers. My body heaves with dispair, and disappointment. Taking one breath sends pain shooting through my whole body; it's difficult to breathe. I haven't felt so alone in a long time; so dead, cold and filled with sorrow. You aren't there with me; you never have been, and I realise now you never will be. I shut my eyes, hoping the dream will come back to me, but without the ending that always seems to come; waking up. The only nightmare I will never be able to escape.
I can't think of the last time I was this happy. The sun set is shining off your face, and highlighting your blue eyes, which are brighter than the sky itself. I want nothing more than to stare into your face for eternity, but I'm forced to look ahead of myself so I don't trip on my own two feet. Your hand is so gently, but tightly grasped in mine. Your fingers laced with mine, and all I can feel is your warmth and your soft skin pressing against mine. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks is so faint next to my ears, because I only long to hear the sound of your beloved voice, but all I can hear is your precious breathing.
You don't know it, but I can see you steal a glance and me and you smile; it feels like my heart has stopped, and I have to remind myself to breathe. Moments like this only make me wonder what, someone as perfect as you, sees in someone as imperfect as me.
As soon as we slow down and stop walking, you face me. I just stare into your perfect eyes and search them for answers, wondering what your next breath taking sentence will be. Everything you do and say is perfect; so pure, so I only wait with ease to hear that voice I love. The voice that keeps me alive each day.
Your skin is so pale, but I don't care, it's still beautiful to me. It's so flawless and smooth looking, but your chin is almost rough to touch. I don't care, because it reminds me of you, and it's you that I would die for. It's you that I love with all my heart.
Without wasting another moment, you let go of my hands like it's the hardest thing you've ever done, but carefully pull me into your arms. I rest my head on your chest, seeing as you're so much taller than I am. Breathing in that scent, whatever it is, puts more butterflies in my stomach that I feel like I'll be sick, but in a good way as always. You rest your head ontop of mine, and I can hear you quietly sing to me; the song that you wrote for me when you first told me the three words that saved my life. It's so quiet, but so loud in my ears and I let the voice of an angel take me away to another world.
When you pull away, it seems like the sun is almost drowned in water, and the stars are out watching over us again. I brush my hand through your soft hair, but never tearing away my gaze from your face.
Before I know it you've taken your hand in mine, and let me sit down on the couch in your beach front home. The fire place dancing with dim, orange glowing light. This is the home you built for me. Just for me. I remember you telling me that this is only a tiny fraction of things you would do for me. You told me you would always be there for me; and you have been. I told you to make sure it wasn't big, because as long as I had you, I'd be the happiest girl in the world. We both have stayed true to our words.
You're now holding me so tightly in your arms, as we both quietly listen to the popping sound of the fire. I can almost fall asleep, but I force myself not to; as I don't want to miss one moment with you. Only half awake, I smile and glance down at the plain, but stunning ring sitting softly on my ring finger. I smile at the memory of your proposal. That was one of the happiest days of my life, now that I think about it. Just knowing I could be yours for eternity, made me feel even safer than I do now sitting in your arms.
Sitting here with you, in your arms, just listening to your heart beat and soft breathing, makes me feel so much at home. I feel so safe; so complete. There are no words to describe this happiness.
I adjust my body to face you, and we both stare at each other for a short time. I softly kiss your delicate lips, and feel a surge of goosebumps cover my body as the butterflies rise in my stomach. I try to think of one part of you that isn't perfect, and I come to a blank. Our foreheads are resting against each others, as our bodies are tightly pressed together comfortably.
"I love you." I whisper to you.
Without hesitation, you whisper back to me, with such honesty, "I love you too."
You smile again, leaving me breathless, so I bury my head in your shoulder and just hug you, hoping that this moment will never end.
The moment I open my eyes, I find myself cold, and my heart is heavy again. I look around my dark room and find myself clinging to my bed covers. My body heaves with dispair, and disappointment. Taking one breath sends pain shooting through my whole body; it's difficult to breathe. I haven't felt so alone in a long time; so dead, cold and filled with sorrow. You aren't there with me; you never have been, and I realise now you never will be. I shut my eyes, hoping the dream will come back to me, but without the ending that always seems to come; waking up. The only nightmare I will never be able to escape.
your writing is beautiful.
Its amazing how much you must love this person.
paper heart., September 10th, 2008 at 06:50:10pm
There are no words great enough to describe how beautifully heartbreaking this is. Believe it or not you are an incredible writer. Never ever stop.
<3
threeam., September 9th, 2008 at 04:48:22am