Please understand, this isn't just goodbye, this is I can't stand you.

I used to care so much about you.
You used to be the only one I had, and I used to be stupid enough to believe I was the only one you had too. I used to love you so much, you really were everything for me, and I only wish you could understand how much I mean it. You were all I could think about, I was always worried about you, wondering if you were fine, wishing there was something I could do for you. I'll never forget all those long nights that I spent with you trying to convince you that cutting wasn't the solution, and that drugs and alcohol weren't going to make you feel better. Every time you were mad or upset, I was too, and I always ended up in tears; it hurt so much, seeing you like that. You had helped me so much, and it literally killed me not being able to do the same for you. I was so grateful for everything you'd done for me, that I would always forgive you, no matter how bad the things you did were; no matter how much it hurt me to see you cry, or to know that all my efforts to make you stop cutting were in vain. I would always do all I could to make you feel better, or at least to let you know I would always have been by your side.
All that time I was with you, I only hoped you would open your eyes and realize I needed a bit of attention too. But sadly, you were the most important person for both of us, and this started bringing me down. I devoted all my life to you, and I was willing to sacrifice all I had just to make you feel a little bit better, but after some months the fact that I wasn't getting anything in return for that, except for more problems that I had to help you solve, made me feel sad and frustrated. I wanted you to care about me just a bit, because I cared about you more than anything else in the world.
I was just blind, too stupid to see you weren't worth it, to realize you were becoming more selfish by the day and that you actually didn't give a damn about me. Sometimes, desperately needing you to help me, I would tell you a secret, begging you not to tell anyone, trusting in you; and every time, you would just give it away to everybody, as if others' curiosity were more important than my privacy. And every time, I would forgive you as I always did. But those times are gone now. I've grown up, and opened my eyes; I realize now that you never really needed me, and that I don't need you either.
I'm strong enough to live without you now.

Pretty much a rant, nothing special about it. Thanks for reading.
Posted on November 19th, 2008 at 06:46pm

Comments

Post a comment


You have to log in before you post a comment.

Site info | Contact | F.A.Q. | Privacy Policy

2024 © GeekStinkBreath.net
Register