Why I Hate The Holidays
Christmas time is here, there's no getting around it. And whatever holiday you celebrate, whatever religion you are a part of, this time of the season seems to cheer people up.
As for me, it depresses me. It's been depressing me for about 3 years now. Ever since my mom moved out, I've grown a sad feeling this time of year. The reason being? Because I know she's sitting by herself at her house, no presents, no one to say Merry Christmas too, no one to make hot cocoa for, no Christmas tree, no stockings to fill, nothing. And everytime I flip on ABC Family's 25 Days Of Christmas, I can't help but cry because I know she's watching it by herself, wishing to be with me & Matt. I remember how we used to watch Charlie Brown together, and how she always used to tell me when Nester The Long-Eared Donkey was on. I remember walking through the house and loving all the Christmas decorations that she had set up. I remember around Thanksgiving too, when I'd come downstairs and she'd be making all sorts of breads, and the house would smell like a bakery. Or on Easter, when she'd color eggs with me & Matt.
Now, everything's gone. I'm hoping and praying to god that she stays sober for when Matt & I come over her house the Saturday after Thanksgiving. If she does, then I'll make plans to come over at some point during Christmas time. I just need to see her. It's been 4, almost 5 months now since I've last her, and I miss her. I want to rekindle our mother-daughter relationship.
What do I want for Christmas, you ask?
A mother that is more then just a voice on the phone.
As for me, it depresses me. It's been depressing me for about 3 years now. Ever since my mom moved out, I've grown a sad feeling this time of year. The reason being? Because I know she's sitting by herself at her house, no presents, no one to say Merry Christmas too, no one to make hot cocoa for, no Christmas tree, no stockings to fill, nothing. And everytime I flip on ABC Family's 25 Days Of Christmas, I can't help but cry because I know she's watching it by herself, wishing to be with me & Matt. I remember how we used to watch Charlie Brown together, and how she always used to tell me when Nester The Long-Eared Donkey was on. I remember walking through the house and loving all the Christmas decorations that she had set up. I remember around Thanksgiving too, when I'd come downstairs and she'd be making all sorts of breads, and the house would smell like a bakery. Or on Easter, when she'd color eggs with me & Matt.
Now, everything's gone. I'm hoping and praying to god that she stays sober for when Matt & I come over her house the Saturday after Thanksgiving. If she does, then I'll make plans to come over at some point during Christmas time. I just need to see her. It's been 4, almost 5 months now since I've last her, and I miss her. I want to rekindle our mother-daughter relationship.
What do I want for Christmas, you ask?
A mother that is more then just a voice on the phone.
Oh Man... I am SOOO sorry for you... that sounds... wow... I guess it makes you reolise that Holidays are about Family more then any thing every body else makes it...
Well... I REALLY Hope things get better...
Neurotic2theBone, April 13th, 2009 at 01:58:05am
Awws.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here.
Barney Stinson, November 29th, 2008 at 12:59:14pm
Awe, hun.
I hope things work out for you.
You can PM me at any time if you need to talk.
I'll pray for your family and for your relationship with your mother to get better.
Jesse Lacey, November 28th, 2008 at 06:00:53pm
good luck hun
Love, November 26th, 2008 at 10:33:12am
OMG.
-BIGGEST CYBER HUG EVER-
Rebellion., November 26th, 2008 at 12:18:42am
*hugs*
I hope things work out 4 u. I know how u feel not having a mum around 4 Christmas, my mum died last so this will be my 2nd Christmas without her. But despite everything I still luv Christmas.
I remember reading the blog u posted about ur mum, made me cry, so did this. I think that if u and Matt go and see her on Christmas and give her a hug she'd really appreciate it
Aussie! Oi Oi Oi, November 25th, 2008 at 11:16:21pm
best of luck :]
Miley Cyrus, November 25th, 2008 at 07:49:22pm
D: *hugs*
:]
I hope you have a nice thanksgiving/christmas D:
captain america, November 25th, 2008 at 07:46:05pm