Unanswered
So many questions, and hardly any answers Like:
What am I doing with my life?
Where's the directions?
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What's my purpose?
I figure these are everyday adolecsent qualms, then i find myself asking questions one might ask themself on their death bed,
Has my life been satisfying?
Am I proud of myself?
Have I done things to be remembered?
Will people that I know or have known think back on me and smile, or frown?
Will anyone care if I'm gone?
Then the more morbid questions,
I wonder if people who jump off buildings have second thoughts?
Do they feel joy?
Or Sadness?
In those split seconds do they want to speed it up, slow it down or just stop it completly?
My mind has been contemplating suicide for a month or so because not that long ago I lost a good friend (I had three close friends)
He took his own life with a gun over a girl, who was also a friend she strung him along and he loved her, he was already very sick, but the point is, do you think they have second thoughts before they hit the ground or the bullet makes contact?
I have an 8 track mind and it rolls over every subject, I always have questions.
There's just so much I don't understand.
Life's this huge, unsolvable mystery adn I want to solve it.
I think everyone has there own life mystery they need to solve, and a long list of unanswered questions that despretley need an ansewer.
My biggest problem is perspective.
I don't really have a full veiw of the world or my surrondings yet.
Most likly because I'm to young.
Even though I have been through quite a lot for just 14 years, life just hasn't come into full view.
I do admit that I get frustrated when I'm told I'm to young to understand or I'm not old enough for this yet, when life has become so complicated that me and my family might end up in the wittness protection program because of a bad relationship my older sister had.
Life is to confusing for me to grasp quite yet, and I didn't want to grow up so fast, but sometimes your forced to, my life's mystry is far from being answered and I'm already having to grip tighter so I don't lose control.
But I'm still Holding onto Hope
and no matter what happens always will.
Even though everything seems to be unanswered.
What am I doing with my life?
Where's the directions?
Who am I?
Why am I here?
What's my purpose?
I figure these are everyday adolecsent qualms, then i find myself asking questions one might ask themself on their death bed,
Has my life been satisfying?
Am I proud of myself?
Have I done things to be remembered?
Will people that I know or have known think back on me and smile, or frown?
Will anyone care if I'm gone?
Then the more morbid questions,
I wonder if people who jump off buildings have second thoughts?
Do they feel joy?
Or Sadness?
In those split seconds do they want to speed it up, slow it down or just stop it completly?
My mind has been contemplating suicide for a month or so because not that long ago I lost a good friend (I had three close friends)
He took his own life with a gun over a girl, who was also a friend she strung him along and he loved her, he was already very sick, but the point is, do you think they have second thoughts before they hit the ground or the bullet makes contact?
I have an 8 track mind and it rolls over every subject, I always have questions.
There's just so much I don't understand.
Life's this huge, unsolvable mystery adn I want to solve it.
I think everyone has there own life mystery they need to solve, and a long list of unanswered questions that despretley need an ansewer.
My biggest problem is perspective.
I don't really have a full veiw of the world or my surrondings yet.
Most likly because I'm to young.
Even though I have been through quite a lot for just 14 years, life just hasn't come into full view.
I do admit that I get frustrated when I'm told I'm to young to understand or I'm not old enough for this yet, when life has become so complicated that me and my family might end up in the wittness protection program because of a bad relationship my older sister had.
Life is to confusing for me to grasp quite yet, and I didn't want to grow up so fast, but sometimes your forced to, my life's mystry is far from being answered and I'm already having to grip tighter so I don't lose control.
But I'm still Holding onto Hope
and no matter what happens always will.
Even though everything seems to be unanswered.
OMGD! This is beautiful!!! I feel exactly the same. I kind of wrote something like this like thirty minutes ago. My blog is called "About Me" Its not as great as yours is. (actually mine sucks) This Is beautiful and is so well written. =)
GreenDayMnority, August 5th, 2010 at 05:28:12pm