Pregnant before marriage

lyrical_mess:

Those who plan kids before marriage or decide that marriage is for losers or whatever are probably the people who plan to live together and be married without an actual ceritifcate. People who act married, who share a bed and make dinner for each other and take turns driving Junior to soccer games. It's good for the kid, with or without a certificate, to live like that with parents who love each other. And in a relationship like that, a child can often strengthen the bond.

I agree with that. I think it's much better for the kid if their parents live together.
If, like you said, the couple live in the same house and share a bed - then it's basically what I'd call a marriage, just non-official.

Just a thought - if you love someone enough (as, I presume, couples who have a child together do) there really shouldn't be anything terrifying about marriage.
Like Flaming Phalanges! said, it's a celebration of love. If you're terrified by the idea of having to spend your whole life with a person, I don't think it makes sense to have baby with them.

Or maybe I'm just rambling

No, it's not ramble. It's a point. If you're planning on having a baby with them, then you're basically already married. It's just that it's not legal and you don't get benefits and tax stuff.

It's wrong, but sometimes it just happens.

Rectophobia Rachel:

It's wrong, but sometimes it just happens.

Why is it wrong?

Rectophobia Rachel:

It's wrong, but sometimes it just happens.

why is it wrong? i was pregnant when i got married, does that meani am such a abd mum or my son wasnt loved??

I don't think marriage should have anything to do with having children, as long as both parents feel they will be able to create a stable environment for the child. The parents don't even have to live together, as long as they are both in the life of their child.

I think now it seems to be more acceptable in society to be pregnant before marriage. At the end of the day as long as the child is loved does it really matter if their parents aren't married?

exactly. But people should be careful about pregnency until they are sure they can truly give the child a decent life.

I agree completely. I think people shouldn't be oppressed just because they aren't married.

Chrissi:

I think now it seems to be more acceptable in society to be pregnant before marriage. At the end of the day as long as the child is loved does it really matter if their parents aren't married?

You're right, or I agree, in my opinion, as long as the child is loved and will always be loved by the unmarried parents, it's perfectly okay.

I don't ever plan on getting married, but I cannot wait to be a mum so chances are I'll lay my plan out to the father I choose (be it a friend of mine or whatever), if you want to be involved in the kid's upbringing that's awesome. If you don't then that's equally awesome.
A lot of people frown at my ideals, but I have the single most supportive family and friends, I don't have money worries and I can provide a stable environment for a child to grow up in. I seriously doubt I'll be having said child in the near future though, but hopefully I'll be a mum before I'm 25
Feel free to discuss, I'm not sure I've worded this well at all

L.A. Ghost:

I don't ever plan on getting married, but I cannot wait to be a mum so chances are I'll lay my plan out to the father I choose (be it a friend of mine or whatever), if you want to be involved in the kid's upbringing that's awesome. If you don't then that's equally awesome.
A lot of people frown at my ideals, but I have the single most supportive family and friends, I don't have money worries and I can provide a stable environment for a child to grow up in. I seriously doubt I'll be having said child in the near future though, but hopefully I'll be a mum before I'm 25
Feel free to discuss, I'm not sure I've worded this well at all

I kinda agree with you, but not entirely. I mean, I don't wanna get married or have children really (but i don't know if that's just my teenage mind screaming "OW THAT'S GUNNA FUCKING HURT" ) but if I were to have kids, then I'd like it to be with someone I liked like that I'm such a child, sorry, someone I loved. I think it'd be weird if it was with just a friend.

But that's just me

Well, don't some people get their friends to donate sperm or something if they're single but want a kid?

Here is how I see it. I was born and raised Catholic. I went to a Catholic school for 12 years. For as long as I can remember I have been taught not to have sex before marriage. I know that probably 90% in my high school class didn't obey that. I was one of the people that did obey it. Though I didn't have much of a choose since I've never had a boyfriend. In my religion class last year we watched a video of this guy giving a speech to a bunch of high school kids. He made some really good points.

___________________________________________________________

Sex outside of marriage causes damage in at least two areas: (1) physical consequences, and (2) relational consequences.

The physical consequences are becoming increasingly obvious and increasingly dangerous in today's society. AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases are frightening realities. "Safe sex" is more accurately described as "reduced risk sex." The only truly safe sex is abstinence. There is also a very real risk that children could be born — and possibly grow up without two parents. Your actions affect your life, your partner's life, and the lives of your family. They can result in handicapping an innocent baby's life as well. Worst of all the willfull destruction of human life often results from pre-marital sex.)

God is pleased when His children choose obedience and self-control instead of the immediacy of pleasure.

Second, relational damage happens between a Christian and those who are watching his life. The sin of adultery (i.e., televangelist scandals) causes a person's friends and even "outsiders" to view the adulterer as less committed to obedience, and more prone to hypocrisy. But a Christian who saves himself or herself in obedience to God wins the respect of those who see his or her life. (I totally agree with that. I respect it. I'd rather have a boyfriend that is a virgin than one that's not).

Sex outside of marriage also damages the relationship between the persons involved.

Similarly, if a person has not carried sexual purity into marriage, his or her marriage relationship is affected by the past. If a man or woman has previously had sex with someone else, their marital intimacy has already been affected. One or both spouses will have to deal with real or perceived comparisons with "former lovers" and feeling that intimacy was not important enough for the other person to wait for it. But if both have waited for their wedding night, the intimacy has already begun with a solid foundation. (I totally agree with that too).

"But we're in love!" some might say. Maybe so, but if one believes in God's definition of love, he must realize that love is patient and kind; it does not seek to please itself, nor does it delight in evil, but is always hopeful (1 Corinthians 13). True love would be patient in waiting for the proper time for sex.

It would be kind to future spouses by not pre-harming marital intimacy. True love would be unselfish in placing God's desires and the needs of others above itself. It would not delight in the evil of disobedience, nor would it force another to disobey God. Love could never be a reason for premarital sex; rather, it should be one of the greatest reasons to avoid premarital sex.

"But we're going to be married anyway" is another common excuse. Along with being presumptuous, this stance will almost certainly leave one question unanswered: If one gives in to moral temptation before marriage, what's to stop him or her from giving in to moral temptation once married?


Sex is a good thing. It must be, if God created it! The only way to keep it a “good thing� is to follow God's guidelines. God will reward you if you choose to honor Him, and save sex for its proper time and place — your marriage.

Information courtesy of http://www.christiananswers.net/q-sum/sum-f001.html

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The other thing is wouldn't you rather have your wedding night be the first time. It should be something special. It can be something to look forward.

Let's put it this way, I'd rather wait.

^ Too bad I'm not religious in the slightest. And to lyrical_mess, if it comes down to me getting with a friend... He would be donating sperm. To me

um well, no nothing wrong with it really...the only bad thing about it is if your not prepared for it, like financially

This is what is slightly annoying, I mean people say that a child come's from a broken home if it's parents aren't married. Bullshit.

My folks were married, our lives were hell.
A mate's folks weren't married and he got on great.

Just because two people who aren't married doesn't mean they aren't good parents.

lexthezombieassassin:

um well, no nothing wrong with it really...the only bad thing about it is if your not prepared for it, like financially

I said I have no financial problems
I dunno, I'm thinking about adopting when I'm older. Either just adopt or whatever. I'm not down for more than one kid though. No way

L.A. Ghost:

lexthezombieassassin:

um well, no nothing wrong with it really...the only bad thing about it is if your not prepared for it, like financially

I said I have no financial problems
I dunno, I'm thinking about adopting when I'm older. Either just adopt or whatever. I'm not down for more than one kid though. No way

me neither i was thinking of adopting too but i'm waaay better off without kids