Billies Lost Son
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 148 | March 1st, 2006 at 05:50am Here we go again.
My heart cries as it shatters.
But no-one is here to weaken the pain.
I sit against the lonely walls.
My mind aches for help.
The wind slaps me hard,
and the Tree's purposly trip me.
Everyone is out there,
And won't stop trying to get me.
|
Billies Lost Son
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 148 | March 1st, 2006 at 05:51am It's pretty short, sorry. |
°MorbidRose°
Jackass
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1723
 | March 1st, 2006 at 07:31am It's good, the shortness is nice. |
kfk8e
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 95 | March 1st, 2006 at 02:18pm It could do with being a bit longer, but what you have is really good. Especially the first half. Don't take this harshly, cause I really like your poem, but the line and trees purposely trip me seems a bit weak to me, compared with the rest of the poem. |
Wolfie Geek Freak
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 30 | March 2nd, 2006 at 12:49pm Good. Not very strong, but I like the imigery |
RhymesLikeDimes
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2201
 | March 2nd, 2006 at 12:50pm um...I don't like it. |
the_feeling_isn't_fear
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 201 | March 2nd, 2006 at 12:50pm ok |
Billies Lost Son
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 148 | March 16th, 2006 at 05:43am Thanks all.  |
DateLine
Idiot
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 626 | March 16th, 2006 at 06:25am Made me think of Going to Pasalacqua |
