Died Alone

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Mr_Comp01001
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Mr_Comp01001
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Posts: 67
March 19th, 2006 at 04:34pm
Died Alone

Three years now since you left us here,
To fend for ourselves, everything is clear;
You didn’t want to live for us or yourself,
You left us alone, put our lives on a shelf.

So winter came, raining jagged tears,
Of frozen grief, after so many years;
We received the news, from that foreign place,
You were cut down, shot in the face.

They brought you home on board the Melody,
An iron coffin floating on the sea;
You arrived in the presence of your only family,
Silent abandonment and tragedy;

Your funeral will be short and simple,
Empty of grief, devoid of people;
No one will care, or at least it won’t show,
You left us behind, and you died alone.
Dead End Girl
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Dead End Girl
Age: 32
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Posts: 10219
March 19th, 2006 at 04:40pm
I liked it.
Although, some of the rhymes did seem forced, it was very good.

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newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
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Mibba
March 20th, 2006 at 08:43am
It was good. Very Happy
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
March 20th, 2006 at 02:53pm
Oh Mistress, I Confess:
I liked it.
Although, some of the rhymes did seem forced, it was very good.

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I agree. Cool
Orgy
Geek
Orgy
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179
July 29th, 2006 at 11:09am
it was fucking awesome! sry i feel like saying fuck and shit....lol well i liked it ignore all the negative comments it was good....biznatch =D
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 35
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Posts: 4161
July 29th, 2006 at 11:31am
Good. Not great, but it wasn't bad either.
Hardcore_rock_fan
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Hardcore_rock_fan
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July 30th, 2006 at 01:00am
i liked the last verse

i thought the third verse was too forced
Retro Suicide
Geek
Retro Suicide
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Posts: 103
July 30th, 2006 at 01:06am
Hardcore Panda!!1:
Oh Mistress, I Confess:
I liked it.
Although, some of the rhymes did seem forced, it was very good.

Up
I agree. Cool


I agree, too.

And it reminds, for some reason, of Edward Scissorhands. I don't really know why. It has a sort of, Tim Burton feeling to it.
Which, by the way, is good. I love Tim Burton. Very Happy
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