Blood Stained

I walk down a dark street
And run in the alley way
Away from the ghost
The blood stained hearse
Driving after the ghost
That chases the soul away
No light to shine and dry the bloodshed
Ghostly cries ring through the night then die

And if it takes a life time to get away
I'll make the trip to death and love
Never forget the forgotten light
That takes me over and dies
The angles gone away for a day
It returns in your dreams, and you can't sleep
Now I'm the slave of a mindly leader
I sleep in the dungen and wait for my heartache

I messed up but I'll imprivise
With the hearts I broke and the inhaled lies
And the blood stained hearse drives your body away
It dosen't hurt me but my soul flys away

(This is a poem again /constructive critisism/ please. I know there are spelling errors.)

it was confusing....
but it was really good at the same time, i loved the way you used words...
i know you can do alot....keep writing i'll be unhappy if you don't
sams0n

thanks for your honest opinion, I'm going to edit it some more today and post it tonight!

It’s the same “problem” with this as your other one; it seems disjointed. Sentences thrown together like that are very confusing. And don’t end the two last rows with “away” because it doesn’t work. You use a good and poetic language though, keep that up.