killing loneliness Idiot
 Age: - Gender: - Posts: 572 | May 12th, 2006 at 08:28am taking a wee break
on your walk to oblivion
resting your feet
on a near by fence
shuddering your shoulders
it's heart breakingly cold outside
pull your jacket around tighter
and straighten your gloves
sit on the fence
and smell the dark roses
your dead romantic soul
betaing for an angel
grab your hat from the ground
faintly whispering a few words
with your sweet smoky voice
picking uo a few roses
whipe the dust off of your wings
your scarf slowly choking you
a few deep breaths
and its over untill the next time
your checked overdress
is hiding a secret
imortality of ages
a being, oldest and fairest of all
her lifeless and black hair
covering her pretty face
its the illusion made
to protect a broken soul |
Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161 | May 12th, 2006 at 01:21pm I really like it
But I don't like the first line. Everything else is really poetic, but the first line breaks that up. |
killing loneliness Idiot
 Age: - Gender: - Posts: 572 | May 12th, 2006 at 01:30pm hmmm...you're right. i should have fixed that...but whats done is done so...i\ll correct it with my pen sometime later today and write it onto a clean sheet of paper without spelling or any other mistakes...cause i hate spelling mistakes, i have them very rarely and when i do, they\re pretty bad |