| Author | Message |
|---|
imtwasidwelya
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 357 | May 15th, 2006 at 06:25pm She wore curlers in her hair
a rasta cap and rubber gloves
she had a smile on her face
like she was in love
What happened to that smile
You couldn't have known this
Too much trauma and I
should have told it
now I'm on meds
can't keep control of my head
I need some release now
to control my disease... wow |
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593 | May 15th, 2006 at 07:31pm Sorry if I've been mean with your other poems. I like this one though.
She wore curlers in her hair
a rasta cap and rubber gloves
she had a smile on her face
like she was in love I liked this part very much.
Great!  |
imtwasidwelya
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 357 | May 15th, 2006 at 09:58pm Thank you. Sometimes metaphors and symbolism can get a bit irritating when used in high quantity for some and something differnet does not hurt. I just had to figure out how to bend and still keep my own style. |
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593 | May 15th, 2006 at 10:04pm imtwasidwelya:Thank you. Sometimes metaphors and symbolism can get a bit irritating when used in high quantity for some and something differnet does not hurt. I just had to figure out how to bend and still keep my own style.  |
=)
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 836 | May 15th, 2006 at 10:06pm Panagiotakos.<3:Sorry if I've been mean with your other poems. I like this one though.
She wore curlers in her hair
a rasta cap and rubber gloves
she had a smile on her face
like she was in love I liked this part very much.
Great!
For some reason I think that part would make a cool song, yah? |
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593 | May 15th, 2006 at 10:08pm Stick It To The Man:Panagiotakos.<3:Sorry if I've been mean with your other poems. I like this one though.
She wore curlers in her hair
a rasta cap and rubber gloves
she had a smile on her face
like she was in love I liked this part very much.
Great!
For some reason I think that part would make a cool song, yah? Lyk yah!
O_o |
imtwasidwelya
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 357 | May 16th, 2006 at 08:49am Stick It To The Man:Panagiotakos.<3:Sorry if I've been mean with your other poems. I like this one though.
She wore curlers in her hair
a rasta cap and rubber gloves
she had a smile on her face
like she was in love I liked this part very much.
Great!
For some reason I think that part would make a cool song, yah?
I was thinking that also when I wrote it but it became a poem instead. |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
 | May 16th, 2006 at 10:49am I liked it.
But what's with the "wow" in the end?  |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| May 16th, 2006 at 12:44pm I think that’s pretty good. But, like Ella said, what’s up with that ’wow’? |
imtwasidwelya
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 357 | May 16th, 2006 at 12:51pm Wow rhyms with now and it gives it a Beatnik flavor.  |
imtwasidwelya
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 357 | May 16th, 2006 at 01:22pm There is nothing wrong with forced rhyming really... |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| May 16th, 2006 at 01:34pm imtwasidwelya:Wow rhyms with now and it gives it a Beatnik flavor.
The 'wow' is just stupid though. It seems like a joke. I would call that extremely forced rhyming.  |
Santa Billie
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 8285 | May 16th, 2006 at 02:20pm Honestly, I'm a little confused... |
snowcherry
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3912 | May 16th, 2006 at 03:04pm What's in a name?:imtwasidwelya:Wow rhyms with now and it gives it a Beatnik flavor.
The 'wow' is just stupid though. It seems like a joke. I would call that extremely forced rhyming.
I agree.
Except for the "wow" it's good. |
