Kill for love, Cry your tears away

Kill for love
A love so much that both were hurt,
killing to stay alive,
choking to breath,
killing eachother,
so that they can be free.

Cry your tears away
sometimes to get rid of the pain,
you have to go through pain,
until it stops hurting,
sometimes pain can result from trying to get rid of your pain,
A vicious cycle that slowly kills,
can start killing you,
from the bginning,
cry your tears till' there is no more left,
And then you'll wonder,
Is this my reason for living?

It was okay. Some weird flow in there. Not sure if it was intentional, but try to start your lines with different words more. I noticed some repetition. If it was intentional, just disregard what I said, I guess.

[Flawless Error]:

It was okay. Some weird flow in there. Not sure if it was intentional, but try to start your lines with different words more. I noticed some repetition. If it was intentional, just disregard what I said, I guess.

there not really poems...i just randomly wrote down lines last night....

No criticism really, I like it.
A suggestion though, it'd be wonderful if you used more unusual words. Like pain could be agony which... Well the word kinda sounds painful if you know what I mean

Mikko Lindstrom:

No criticism really, I like it.
A suggestion though, it'd be wonderful if you used more unusual words. Like pain could be agony which... Well the word kinda sounds painful if you know what I mean

thanx...again i was just randomly writing this down so my grammar and the words suck...

REALLY off topic but you mentioned Judge Judy under your fave shows. You don't get much cooler than that

Mikko Lindstrom:

REALLY off topic but you mentioned Judge Judy under your fave shows. You don't get much cooler than that

yep yep yep......one of my guilty pleasures..on a lazy day at home...

razzledgirl:

Mikko Lindstrom:

REALLY off topic but you mentioned Judge Judy under your fave shows. You don't get much cooler than that

yep yep yep......one of my guilty pleasures..on a lazy day at home...

you should comment on the other poem called silence...it sucks but i need the comments..

razzledgirl:

there not really poems...i just randomly wrote down lines last night....

If you post it, it will get comments. If needs improvement you will get constructive criticism.
Now you know. So don’t post a poem if you think it sucks or if it’s just venting shit.
You can’t defend yourself by saying: “I just wrote it down, that’s why it sucks.” (Or something like that.)
If you want to post something that you haven’t put an effort into that’s your problem.
There’s a “risk” it’ll get torn to shreds.
I’m only telling you this to be nice.

good... I like it

What's in a name?:

razzledgirl:

there not really poems...i just randomly wrote down lines last night....

If you post it, it will get comments. If needs improvement you will get constructive criticism.
Now you know. So don’t post a poem if you think it sucks or if it’s just venting shit.
You can’t defend yourself by saying: “I just wrote it down, that’s why it sucks.” (Or something like that.)
If you want to post something that you haven’t put an effort into that’s your problem.
There’s a “risk” it’ll get torn to shreds.
I’m only telling you this to be nice.

i wasn't saying it to cover it up...no literally i just wrote them down the night before i was also saying it because the title didn't work and all the there was really not all that much ryhming(sp). Just trying to tell people why that was, i just posted it because my firned told me to, i already know what you told me...

razzledgirl:

What's in a name?:

razzledgirl:

there not really poems...i just randomly wrote down lines last night....

If you post it, it will get comments. If needs improvement you will get constructive criticism.
Now you know. So don’t post a poem if you think it sucks or if it’s just venting shit.
You can’t defend yourself by saying: “I just wrote it down, that’s why it sucks.” (Or something like that.)
If you want to post something that you haven’t put an effort into that’s your problem.
There’s a “risk” it’ll get torn to shreds.
I’m only telling you this to be nice.

i wasn't saying it to cover it up...no literally i just wrote them down the night before i was also saying it because the title didn't work and all the there was really not all that much ryhming(sp). Just trying to tell people why that was, i just posted it because my firned told me to, i already know what you told me...

and they really arn't poems, i meant it.

I know that you meant what you said but get this; when you post you will
get constructive criticism regardless of how and why the things you post was written.
I don’t matter if you just threw it together, k?
Why post it if it’s no good? Don’t you have a free will? =P
And poems don’t have to rhyme, as you probably know. Free verse.

I’m not accusing you or trying to be bitchy, dear. It only meant to help (even if I may come across as a mean bitch or something =P).

One last little advice; You can edit your last post instead of posting again.
Just click the edit button in the upper, right corner of your post.

Take care

What's in a name?:

I know that you meant what you said but get this; when you post you will
get constructive criticism regardless of how and why the things you post was written.
I don’t matter if you just threw it together, k?
Why post it if it’s no good? Don’t you have a free will? =P
And poems don’t have to rhyme, as you probably know. Free verse.

I’m not accusing you or trying to be bitchy, dear. It only meant to help (even if I may come across as a mean bitch or something =P).

One last little advice; You can edit your last post instead of posting again.
Just click the edit button in the upper, right corner of your post.

Take care

i know i will, and im prepared to take it, it was just my first reply and i was answereing(sp) back to ...it may not work with my poem though..thing that was next to the title..., i can say what i want..if i want.

Good. You can say nearly what you want. You can’t say anything too offending, but I’m sure you already knew that. It’s all good, dear. We understand each other, yeah?

What's in a name?:

Good. You can say nearly what you want. You can’t say anything too offending, but I’m sure you already knew that. It’s all good, dear. We understand each other, yeah?

i just wonder why you keep checking back on the poem when you already commented on it, and this isn't a place for convo's

Because it seemed like you misunderstood me. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear what I had meant. Should I have ignored you? In my last post I just wanted to make sure you aren’t angry with me because that’s unnecessary. I like you, I like your poetry.
I know this is not a place for convos. You answered me back, mind you.
Now I’ve explained it, hope it answered your question. [/discussion]

What's in a name?:

Because it seemed like you misunderstood me. I just wanted to make it perfectly clear what I had meant. Should I have ignored you? In my last post I just wanted to make sure you aren’t angry with me because that’s unnecessary. I like you, I like your poetry.
I know this is not a place for convos. You answered me back, mind you.
Now I’ve explained it, hope it answered your question. [/discussion]

i just hate it when people say things asumming(sp) that i did somthing thats all...

I’m sorry that that was how it came across. It was not my intention at all. Friends?

I like the idea of crying your tears out - interesting. But I didn't like the poem.