| Author | Message |
|---|
resting_splinter
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 251 | May 24th, 2006 at 09:56pm the point is clear
a burden youll always bear
i could say i know how you feel
i know how it feels to live a life unreal
betrayal by those you love
the gray in your eyes is lke a dieing dove
night die young, sun calling you a liar
falling with eyes burning of fire
red blood turning black
leaving now, dont ever look back
this poem wont help it wont live your life
so if one day you turn to the knife
lood back at this paper and remember
we burned to past and watched the embers |
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 225 | May 25th, 2006 at 02:00am Okay, the content was great. The words were really good, but try and put in some punctuation! Its like having to read it one big breath. Its good though, i like it!  |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
 | May 25th, 2006 at 03:16am You can't come up with a title for your own poem?  |
Sara.
This Board Is My Home
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 31155 | May 25th, 2006 at 03:17am Ruler Of Sporks:Okay, the content was great. The words were really good, but try and put in some punctuation! Its like having to read it one big breath. Its good though, i like it! |
B.J
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: -
Gender: Male
Posts: 8105 | May 25th, 2006 at 03:42am It was good but could you try using more punctuation
it makes it hard for the reader
I like it though  |
clark
GSBitch
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 79047 | May 25th, 2006 at 07:24am Ruler Of Sporks:Okay, the content was great. The words were really good, but try and put in some punctuation! Its like having to read it one big breath. Its good though, i like it! |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | May 25th, 2006 at 08:23am Ella:You can't come up with a title for your own poem?
It was good
But seriously, you need to think of a title... poetry is personal, and each should be given a name - otherwise it seems far too unloved.
*stops babbling* |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| May 25th, 2006 at 12:27pm international_idiot:Ella:You can't come up with a title for your own poem?
It was good
But seriously, you need to think of a title... poetry is personal, and each should be given a name - otherwise it seems far too unloved.
*stops babbling*
You are preoccupied with poem rights.  |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
| May 25th, 2006 at 05:36pm Didn't really like it. =/ Rhymes didn't sound good. Pretty cliché too. |
resting_splinter
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 251 | May 26th, 2006 at 06:24pm it was written for my best friend so his oppinion was of some value to me and since the titles i was sugesting he didnt like i just kind of gave up |
