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War

Board index - Your poetry

Author	Message
Kyna Geek Age: - Gender: - Posts: 435	May 24th, 2006 at 10:12pm People fight and they bond but they all lose through sacrifice. They take out a gun or knife then throw their dice. High we win, low we lose... but is winning really that? You are to choose. Don't forget all the damage caused not just by hand tools but nuclear devistation too. If a war is coming it's time to prepare you, time to move to a new location and you don't know when the war is going or about to begin.
resting_splinter Geek Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 251	May 24th, 2006 at 10:13pm i like it good writing
Dead End Girl Addict Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 10219	May 24th, 2006 at 11:26pm I liked it <3. Although the flow kinda threw me off, I liked it. HIGHFIVE XD.
The Spelling Nazi Minx Idiot Age: - Gender: - Posts: 689	May 24th, 2006 at 11:35pm [i] Kyna: They take out a gun or knife then throw their dice. [/i] It might flow a bit better if you do a play on words. Like: They take out a gun or knife And then then they throw their bloody die. Like, a single dice is a die, but it could also be die, as in leaving life kind of thing. Just a suggestion.
Sylar Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 5703	May 24th, 2006 at 11:54pm The Spelling Nazi Minx: [i] Kyna: They take out a gun or knife then throw their dice. [/i] It might flow a bit better if you do a play on words. Like: They take out a gun or knife And then then they throw their bloody die. Like, a single dice is a die, but it could also be die, as in leaving life kind of thing. Just a suggestion. Amen
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289	May 25th, 2006 at 12:59am Poetry doesnt have to rhyme, and forced rhyming is never, ever good.
watermelon murderer Geek Age: - Gender: - Posts: 173	May 25th, 2006 at 01:18am yay. good work!
Sara. This Board Is My Home Age: - Gender: - Posts: 31155	May 25th, 2006 at 01:24am I_worship_tre_Cool: Poetry doesnt have to rhyme, and forced rhyming is never, ever good.
Kyna Geek Age: - Gender: - Posts: 435	May 25th, 2006 at 04:46am Is there such a thing as forced not rhyming? A single die is not what I envisioned when I wrote it.
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451	May 25th, 2006 at 07:08am I like the way you put it. Hard to explain exactly what I mean by that but it’s just the whole thought behind the poem that I like. It’s really good that you use punctuation and capital letters. It’s still kind of cliché unfortunately, poems like that have been done thousands of times. You can try you use more metaphors if you like. Also the flow is off, but people gave you good advices on how to improve/fix that. Kyna: (lol) I can't stand puntuation with incomplete sentances. I guess you’re a little wiser now?
clark GSBitch Age: 32 Gender: Male Posts: 79047	May 25th, 2006 at 07:25am Pretty good.
Escaped Mental Patient Jackass Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 1708	May 25th, 2006 at 11:14am very nice.....I likey

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