Kyna Geek
 Age: - Gender: - Posts: 435 | May 27th, 2006 at 11:52am I could not name it either. Perhaps you could go with the first two words... "Sacred silence"
The poem is outstanding, however. It makes a really good point, that everything in the world still happens while two people are not paying attention to it. Yes, that can be a dangerous thing also... it has been shown in enough movies already. |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:02pm The words "phoenix hearts" stuck so that might be a good title.
 I love the first stanza. Great imagery. Beautiful.
 Don’t like the second. Too cliché. A bit un-poetic.
 Like the last one. Good structure.
The full stop at the last but one line messes up the flow though.
I think I know which kinda feeling you were going for but unfortunately it didn’t work. |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:10pm I'm in love with the last stanza. The first one was good too, but the second one didn't do anything for me. Like Rose said.
EDIT: TYPOOOO. XD |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:14pm Teh Coolest Mohican....:thanks.
I'll work on it!
You're very welcome.
Good. That makes me happy.  See?
I'm sure you will write totally awesome poems soon. |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:25pm Teh Coolest Mohican....:the last one?
O_O Typo, sorry. My first post is edited. XD |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:26pm Teh Coolest Mohican....:*mock horror*
YOU MEAN I DON'T NOW?!
ZOMGAWSH
That's what I mean.
But you're close  |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:31pm You’re muchly welcome. ^-^
 Me? One of the most talented?
Wow.  Thank you, dear. |
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
| May 27th, 2006 at 12:36pm I was just kinda surprised. I always am when someone thinks I’m good at something. 
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