One Breathless Heartbeat

Board index - Your poetry
AuthorMessage
Garrett Hanlund
This Board Is My Home
Garrett Hanlund
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 30801

Mibba Blog
May 30th, 2006 at 03:24pm
I liked it! Chichés are fun, becasue every one you read has a different spin on it. You, m'love, are an amazing poet. Keep writing, you'll go places.
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
May 30th, 2006 at 03:26pm
It seemed like some of it was a bit cluttered with adjectives. I'm all for the descriptive words, but just make sure you don't throw too many in there as to mess up the flow. It wasn't really noticeable; I'm just very observant when it comes to these things.

With that aside, I like it. Very Happy For a title...One Breathless Heartbeat? That part seemed to jump out at me.
DAMONE_doll_parts
Geek
DAMONE_doll_parts
Age: 103
Gender: Female
Posts: 266
May 30th, 2006 at 03:29pm
either your very smart with words or you had webster in hand while you typed it...but i think its tre beau.
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