pumpkin_head Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: - Posts: 23June 9th, 2006 at 10:42pm
i hurt myself today
trying to find
a purpose in life
i killed myself today
trying to stop the paind
you buried me today
trying to make it through
i'm gone today
and you're gonna miss me
there is no more tomorrow
[placebo] Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: - Gender: - Posts: 78June 10th, 2006 at 07:19am
um, its alright. i like the first 4 lines, then it kinda drags on. even though it doesnt drag for long... ANYWAIZ. its alright.
DaveyHavok666 Geek Age: - Gender: - Posts: 250June 13th, 2006 at 10:13pm
it's ok, but... ummm... yeah anyway, yeah it's ok
Kurtni Admin Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 34289 June 13th, 2006 at 10:16pm
It's not original, it lacks any flow. It wasnt thought provoking, it wasn't vivid, it didnt have any poetic elements
Just because you
type something
like this and have
more than one line
doesnt make it a poem.