Weren't meant to be

Author	Message
tAcOs!-Jay Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie Age: 34 Gender: Male Posts: 83	June 13th, 2006 at 02:37pm I compare the past to the present And realized I've taken you for gratned I've wasted all your time As well as mine I see that things have changed I see that you are no longer in my range I see that I was happier then I am now I did things with you that wasn't allowed But you don't care anymore Cuz you walked out the door And now I see we wern't meant to be Because of me
Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161	June 14th, 2006 at 07:19am 1. Use a spellchecker 2. Don't force rhymes. It sounds far too manufactured and has barely any flow. 3. Punctuation helps. And it was really quite repetitive... The rhyme MIGHT work if you used longer sentence structures.

Author

Message

tAcOs!-Jay
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie

Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 83

June 13th, 2006 at 02:37pm

I compare the past to the present
And realized I've taken you for gratned
I've wasted all your time
As well as mine
I see that things have changed
I see that you are no longer in my range
I see that I was happier then I am now
I did things with you that wasn't allowed
But you don't care anymore
Cuz you walked out the door
And now I see we wern't meant to be
Because of me

Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days

Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161

June 14th, 2006 at 07:19am

1. Use a spellchecker Wink

2. Don't force rhymes. It sounds far too manufactured and has barely any flow.
3. Punctuation helps.

And it was really quite repetitive...

The rhyme MIGHT work if you used longer sentence structures.

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