FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
June 17th, 2006 at 01:09pm
I really liked that. Could you explain the whole metaphor in the first stanza? I'm not sure I got it.
Zoie Falling In Love With The Board Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 6370
June 17th, 2006 at 01:14pm
I really loved the metaphores you used, again. Great job.
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
June 17th, 2006 at 01:20pm
What's the point? Where are you heading with this?
"Brandy snaps and cinnamon honours represent a mettlesome mood"
Cinnamon? Why on Earth? It makes no sense.
You try too hard, and honestly, I'm not impressed.
But I bet everyone will says it's beatiful, won't they? minuscule, thesaurus, mettlesome etc. are really pretty words indeed, but guys, are you forgetting the real definition of poetry...
Attack me, if you must, but I know I'm right. he rest of you just don't want to look evil.
Please stop doing this, for your own good. It will kill any creative thoughts you might have had, it will limit you, you will never be able to release all of your thoughts. I'm not very helpful, but the answer is in you only.
What's the point? Where are you heading with this?
"Brandy snaps and cinnamon honours represent a mettlesome mood"
Cinnamon? Why on Earth? It makes no sense.
You try too hard, and honestly, I'm not impressed.
But I bet everyone will says it's beatiful, won't they? minuscule, thesaurus, mettlesome etc. are really pretty words indeed, but guys, are you forgetting the real definition of poetry...
Attack me, if you must, but I know I'm right. he rest of you just don't want to look evil.
Please stop doing this, for your own good. It will kill any creative thoughts you might have had, it will limit you, you will never be able to release all of your thoughts. I'm not very helpful, but the answer is in you only.
Im sorry, but I have to agree with Ella. Random Lines are Not Poetry. Each line in that poem could belong to a different poem, well at least the ones that made sense. Haveing an extended vocabulary isnt enough. Im sure Ella and I will be shot down and ridculed for saying this, and given the "Shes onlu 11" arguement, but age doesnt effect the quality of a poem. She has potential, but She isnt using it correctly.
Zoie Falling In Love With The Board Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 6370
June 17th, 2006 at 01:28pm
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
I_worship_tre_Cool:
Ella:
What's the point? Where are you heading with this?
"Brandy snaps and cinnamon honours represent a mettlesome mood"
Cinnamon? Why on Earth? It makes no sense.
You try too hard, and honestly, I'm not impressed.
But I bet everyone will says it's beatiful, won't they? minuscule, thesaurus, mettlesome etc. are really pretty words indeed, but guys, are you forgetting the real definition of poetry...
Attack me, if you must, but I know I'm right. he rest of you just don't want to look evil.
Please stop doing this, for your own good. It will kill any creative thoughts you might have had, it will limit you, you will never be able to release all of your thoughts. I'm not very helpful, but the answer is in you only.
Im sorry, but I have to agree with Ella. Random Lines are Not Poetry. Each line in that poem could belong to a different poem, well at least the ones that made sense. Haveing an extended vocabulary isnt enough. Im sure Ella and I will be shot down and ridculed for saying this, and given the "Shes onlu 11" arguement, but age doesnt effect the quality of a poem. She has potential, but She isnt using it correctly.
-_- I give up.
No. Don't give up. You have talent, you just need to write so other people will understand the message you are trying to get across.
The Doctor Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8786
June 17th, 2006 at 01:30pm
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
I_worship_tre_Cool:
Ella:
What's the point? Where are you heading with this?
"Brandy snaps and cinnamon honours represent a mettlesome mood"
Cinnamon? Why on Earth? It makes no sense.
You try too hard, and honestly, I'm not impressed.
But I bet everyone will says it's beatiful, won't they? minuscule, thesaurus, mettlesome etc. are really pretty words indeed, but guys, are you forgetting the real definition of poetry...
Attack me, if you must, but I know I'm right. he rest of you just don't want to look evil.
Please stop doing this, for your own good. It will kill any creative thoughts you might have had, it will limit you, you will never be able to release all of your thoughts. I'm not very helpful, but the answer is in you only.
Im sorry, but I have to agree with Ella. Random Lines are Not Poetry. Each line in that poem could belong to a different poem, well at least the ones that made sense. Haveing an extended vocabulary isnt enough. Im sure Ella and I will be shot down and ridculed for saying this, and given the "Shes onlu 11" arguement, but age doesnt effect the quality of a poem. She has potential, but She isnt using it correctly.
-_- I give up.
Don't ever ever ever EVER give up. I gave up doing something I loved because of stiff critism that looking back made sense. Now I can never do it again and I regret it. You have the power in you and don't take the comments too personally.
The Doctor Falling In Love With The Board Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 8786
June 17th, 2006 at 01:32pm
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
Maybe I was stupid to even try and attempy poetry.
Don't talk like that! You have talent.
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
June 17th, 2006 at 01:33pm
Now, you're dissappointing me even more. I expected better from you.
So you are going to give up just because of a couple not so complimenting reviews?
If you're not ready for constructive critisism, don't post here.
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
June 17th, 2006 at 01:35pm
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
Joan of Arc of Suburbia:
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
Maybe I was stupid to even try and attempy poetry.
Don't talk like that! You have talent.
no I don't. Please, I'm old enough to take it. Don't humour me, whaever you do, do NOT humour me.
WTF. Why are you playing the victim now? Don't you even care about what you can do to improve?
What's the point? Where are you heading with this?
"Brandy snaps and cinnamon honours represent a mettlesome mood"
Cinnamon? Why on Earth? It makes no sense.
You try too hard, and honestly, I'm not impressed.
But I bet everyone will says it's beatiful, won't they? minuscule, thesaurus, mettlesome etc. are really pretty words indeed, but guys, are you forgetting the real definition of poetry...
Attack me, if you must, but I know I'm right. he rest of you just don't want to look evil.
Please stop doing this, for your own good. It will kill any creative thoughts you might have had, it will limit you, you will never be able to release all of your thoughts. I'm not very helpful, but the answer is in you only.
Im sorry, but I have to agree with Ella. Random Lines are Not Poetry. Each line in that poem could belong to a different poem, well at least the ones that made sense. Haveing an extended vocabulary isnt enough. Im sure Ella and I will be shot down and ridculed for saying this, and given the "Shes onlu 11" arguement, but age doesnt effect the quality of a poem. She has potential, but She isnt using it correctly.
-_- I give up.
We just had this conversation, when you post in here, you're asking for our honest opinion, and when we give it, you shouldnt get upset. Take critiscm and learn from it. mayne philosophers who discovered some of our greatest scienetific facts were disagreed with and critisced, but did they quit? NO. They decided to discover graivty instead.
Learn from what we say, don't just neglect it and get frusterated
Peter Petrelli King For A Couple Of Days Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 4161
June 17th, 2006 at 03:29pm
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
Maybe I was stupid to even try and attempy poetry.
I used to get so immensely upset when I had a bad review, constructive or not. I never used to get mad, I just got really upset and wouldn't write for days.
It just take a few months to get used to.
Yeah, it did seem kind of random. I thought each line itself was so good, but maybe you could try following a story? That might work
Just trying to help *cowers*
Rachii! King For A Couple Of Days Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 2111
spill_no_sick Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 8588
June 17th, 2006 at 05:16pm
I_worship_tre_Cool:
Emm-Vee:
I don't get it ;_;
No one does
I get it
but it's just bits and pieces put together....look, I've written stuff like that too, and I've had bad reveiws but I didn't give up (I just started my own site
but anyway, don't give up, otherwise we only have bad poets here who refuse to take advice
we need poets willing to take advice and become better
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
June 18th, 2006 at 11:10am
[x]Poetic Disaster[x]:
Ella:
Now, you're dissappointing me even more. I expected better from you.
So you are going to give up just because of a couple not so complimenting reviews?
If you're not ready for constructive critisism, don't post here.
sorry....*is embarrassed*
Don't aplogize, just next time, look inside your soul, not your dictionary.
Emily-Cool Falling In Love With The Board Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 6657
June 18th, 2006 at 11:45am
I dont get it, but i think u have talent in There somewhere, keep it up
They decided to discover graivty instead.
