Resistance
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 133 | June 17th, 2006 at 09:34pm (This is the first non-political poem I've ever voluntarily written, so bear with me)
The world outside is cold and damp,
But in the hallowed shelter
Emits a warmth greater than the sun.
Band shirts and black pants,
Wrapped tight together, wrapped
Around each other.
And I wish this would last forever,
I wish I’d never have to leave
Because I know we were
Always meant to be.
Never want to release you, never
Want to be without you.
Two gentle souls eternally intertwined,
I’m always yours
If you’re always mine.
Two gentle souls with purpose
Found in music, found
In poetry, uniting.
And music lasts forever,
And poems last forever,
and
Our love will last forever. |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
 | June 17th, 2006 at 09:47pm [offtopic]OMGWTF YOU'RE MIKE FROM MSN, AREN'T YOU!?[/offtopic]
The world outside is cold and damp,
But in the hallowed shelter
Emits a warmth greater than the sun.
Band shirts and black pants,
Wrapped tight together, wrapped
Around each other.
Nice beginning to the poem, sets the mood. Not sure I get the band shirts and black pants being wrapped around each other part. Unless you mean the two lovers wrapped around each other. XD
And I wish this would last forever,
I wish I’d never have to leave
Because I know we were
Always meant to be.
Never want to release you, never
Want to be without you.
Somewhat cliche, but the wording was nice and it flowed well.
Two gentle souls eternally intertwined,
I’m always yours
If you’re always mine.
Two gentle souls with purpose
Found in music, found
In poetry, uniting.
Bolded part sounded very, very nice. It was terrific and the near rhyme sounded great. Like the way you describe your common ground.
And music lasts forever,
And poems last forever,
and
Our love will last forever.
Nice way to compare your interests with your love.
Overall: It was a good poem. I like it. |
steady riot.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2907 | June 17th, 2006 at 09:55pm I love it. And Eli will too. |
Resistance
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 133 | June 17th, 2006 at 10:28pm Hardcore Panda!!1:[offtopic]OMGWTF YOU'RE MIKE FROM MSN, AREN'T YOU!?[/offtopic]
Yup
Quote
Nice beginning to the poem, sets the mood. Not sure I get the band shirts and black pants being wrapped around each other part. Unless you mean the two lovers wrapped around each other. XD
Thats what we were wearing (and normally wear) at the time of the hug this poem focuses on. It was more meant to be personal than out here for everyone, but she dared me to put it up here ^_^
Quote
Bolded part sounded very, very nice. It was terrific and the near rhyme sounded great. Like the way you describe your common ground.
Nice way to compare your interests with your love.
Overall: It was a good poem. I like it.
Thank you ^_^ |
Eliana Rampage
Jackass
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1958 | June 17th, 2006 at 10:44pm DKJADFJASKFD.
I LOVE YOU. XDDDD
I'm writing mine now...Dunno how good it'll be but yours is probably better since it actually stated a point, my poetry doesn't have a point...
It was incredible, especially since knowing Mikard you write politically. |
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538 | June 18th, 2006 at 06:27am Aww, that's incredibly sweet.
I loved the last stanza. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | June 18th, 2006 at 06:40am |
