You Cannot Escape

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Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
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Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 225
June 18th, 2006 at 03:34pm
Sitting a state of distant thought,
The virus of boredom,
Rages though my veins,
Sifting in the depths of my mind,
Slowly frustration takes over me.

Icy black pain fusing with the anger,
Creating a twisted new emotion,
One brewed in the stomach of Hell,
Which leaves tearstains on my pillow,
And dismantles my soul day by day, piece by piece.

Feeble attempts at recovering the lost smiles,
Hating yourself for thinking its all gone,
Craving sleep filled days lost in a delicate dream world,
Until blade sharp reality careers its way into you,
Clawing you back to the empty life you cannot escape,
You cannot escape...
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Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
June 18th, 2006 at 03:41pm
Sitting a state of distant thought,
The virus of boredom,
Rages though my veins,
Sifting in the depths of my mind,
Slowly frustration takes over me.


Not the most uniquely worded, but I like the idea of boredom being a virus.

Icy black pain fusing with the anger,
Creating a twisted new emotion,
One brewed in the stomach of Hell,
Which leaves tearstains on my pillow,
And dismantles my soul day by day, piece by piece.


I love the last line. It works well and sounds nice.

Feeble attempts at recovering the lost smiles,
Hating yourself for thinking its all gone,
Craving sleep filled days lost in a delicate dream world,
Until blade sharp reality careers its way into you,
Clawing you back to the empty life you cannot escape,
You cannot escape...


Is the bolded part supposed to be "careens"? It doesn't make sense the way it is. This is definitely my favourite stanza, a very good way to end it all.

Overall: I like it.
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Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Geek
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 225
June 18th, 2006 at 03:54pm
Thanks Smile
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