And The Sky Will Fall Upon Us

Board index - Your poetry

Author	Message
Junkie. Geek Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 340	July 4th, 2006 at 12:06pm I'm not so sure about this but anyhow: And The Sky Will Fall Upon Us Purple cracks in the horizon Red dances on the boundary Purple cracks in the horizon Crimson seeps from the boundary The people stop and stare; the sky Is filled with black open wounds Bleeding, weeping and the teardrops Of madness crash to earth. The cloud wall breaks with Flashes of blue and gold breaking Across the face of the air, and Lightening striking the ground This cancer that infects the world Drops and the skies convulse With freedom from it’s burden that It carried for so long…too long. Purple cracks in the horizon Red dances on the boundary Purple cracks in the horizon Crimson seeps from the boundary The sky shall fall upon us The clouds shall shatter and Crumble; crushing the cities, Burning civilization Washing the earth of disease Cleansing the plague Eradicating the terminal sickness Once and for all, once and for all The sky shall fall upon us Heaven will fracture and falter The earth begins to seizure; Burn. Purple cracks in the horizon Red dances on the boundary Purple cracks in the horizon Crimson seeps from the boundary
peas lover. King For A Couple Of Days Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 3502	July 4th, 2006 at 12:29pm i kinda liked it. it was different, but in a good way. yep, i liked it.
losers_are_cool King For A Couple Of Days Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 4120	July 4th, 2006 at 01:15pm "Purple cracks in the horizon Red dances on the boundary Purple cracks in the horizon Crimson seeps from the boundary" I liked that bit. And I think you did a good job of creating visuals....but I'm going to need to re-read it. Uno momento. Ok well, overall I thought is was well written, but something about it just didn't....click for me. So I'm not really sure if I liked it. I appreciated how it was different than many poems I've read. In structure and subject. I thought that was nice. And I really did think it was good...I just didn't love it. Does that make sense?
Inari King For A Couple Of Days Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538	July 4th, 2006 at 02:24pm I liked that. The descriptions you used, the words. Beautiful.
rollerpig GSBitch Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 62283	July 4th, 2006 at 03:12pm I like it ^_^
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921	July 4th, 2006 at 07:51pm I really honestly love this one. I think you did a very nice job with it and you should definitely be proud. This part really struck me the most: The sky shall fall upon us Heaven will fracture and falter The earth begins to seizure; Burn. Absolutely amazing.
Junkie. Geek Age: - Gender: Female Posts: 340	July 5th, 2006 at 02:34pm Thanks a lot guys.
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451	July 6th, 2006 at 05:52am Lovely metaphors and great choice of words. It’s a tiny bit repetitive in my opinion and has a flow that’s perhaps a bit off. Those are the only “errors”. Except from that it’s marvellous!
DaveyHavok666 Geek Age: - Gender: - Posts: 250	July 6th, 2006 at 01:44pm Your an awesome writor!

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