Loving Aint The Same
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
| robotchicken. Falling In Love With The Board  Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 8423  | Lets have another shot of tequila Another shot at our life Just me and you together Living it up being alive I used to tell you Id cut my soul out of myself Say your heart was a treasure A place where Id bury myself Back then I couldnt have made up my mind Cause see we belong together Like the blood in your veins And the traces we left behind Battle scars from a past love Something that should have never been But like animals we didnt know right from sin This couldve all been a dream Something hazed and illusioned But baby thats not our love It cant have that conclusion ----------------------------------------  comments, suggestions? |
| FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921 | I like it; sweet and simple. I used to tell you Id cut my soul out of myself Say your heart was a treasure A place where Id bury myself A spot of flow issues there. The first line is too long and doesn't fit the flow of the other two. Also, two of the lines end with 'myself' and it sounds kind of weird. That's all the criticism in me for now.  |
| robotchicken. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 8423 | mmkay, thanks though |
| The Rev Addict  Age: 38 Gender: Male Posts: 14004 | i Love it |
| Inari King For A Couple Of Days  Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538 | |
| robotchicken. Falling In Love With The Board Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 8423 | Thank you! |
| ace. Idiot Age: - Gender: - Posts: 764 |
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