Loving Aint The Same

AuthorMessage
robotchicken.
Falling In Love With The Board
robotchicken.
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 8423

Mibba
July 4th, 2006 at 08:02pm
Lets have another shot of tequila
Another shot at our life
Just me and you together
Living it up being alive

I used to tell you Id cut my soul out of myself
Say your heart was a treasure
A place where Id bury myself

Back then I couldnt have made up my mind
Cause see we belong together
Like the blood in your veins
And the traces we left behind
Battle scars from a past love

Something that should have never been
But like animals we didnt know right from sin
This couldve all been a dream
Something hazed and illusioned
But baby thats not our love
It cant have that conclusion

----------------------------------------
Very Happy comments, suggestions?
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
July 4th, 2006 at 09:25pm
I like it; sweet and simple. Very Happy

I used to tell you Id cut my soul out of myself
Say your heart was a treasure
A place where Id bury myself


A spot of flow issues there. The first line is too long and doesn't fit the flow of the other two. Also, two of the lines end with 'myself' and it sounds kind of weird. That's all the criticism in me for now. Cool
robotchicken.
Falling In Love With The Board
robotchicken.
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 8423

Mibba
July 4th, 2006 at 09:40pm
mmkay, thanks though Very Happy
The Rev
Addict
The Rev
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14004
July 5th, 2006 at 12:19am
i Love it Very Happy
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Inari
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538
July 5th, 2006 at 06:51am
Wow.
I really liked that one.
Beautiful.
robotchicken.
Falling In Love With The Board
robotchicken.
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 8423

Mibba
July 5th, 2006 at 08:21pm
Thank you! Very Happy
ace.
Idiot
ace.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 764
July 5th, 2006 at 11:32pm
awwuh molly i like it. the flows a little..everywhere. but i could totally hear it as a country song. seriously, sell it to one of those famous country singers and make millions of dollars.

^thats a good thing, by the way.
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