| Author | Message |
|---|
paper shoes
This Board Is My Home
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34269 | July 8th, 2006 at 05:39pm My eyes turn all black as I kiss the wall
I fall on the wallpaper and caress the floor
What a cheap accident this is
There were no roses kissing my cheek
My skin was thin as the paper
You havent bought it yet,
There's no place for your homeless memories
She gave me the milk and I went upstairs
I wanna murder your poor jacket made of jeans
Don't need your cheap acceptance anymore, when I got it
The color red was for hate, it's always been
Skinny and ugly and mean and all smeared over my face
There's a damaged mirror in your bedroom
I searched for it through the whole house and it's been right here |
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538 | July 8th, 2006 at 06:24pm I actually really liked that.
It was twisted but in a poetic sort of way. |
tAcOs!-Jay
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 83 | July 9th, 2006 at 11:30am i didnt get it so i really cant say n e thing |
Eyes On Me
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 723 | July 9th, 2006 at 12:40pm gothchick13 is a stupid poopid.
lovely :]] |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | July 9th, 2006 at 12:56pm gothchick13:i didnt get it so i really cant say n e thing
So why post? 
I really liked it. Grammar could be tidied up in a few places, but otherwise it's really good  |
The.Crazed.Spork
Jackass
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1167 | July 9th, 2006 at 02:15pm its pretty good, I agree with international idiot |
Nathalie.
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 11756 | July 9th, 2006 at 02:49pm i like it  . |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
 | July 9th, 2006 at 02:54pm I like that one a lot. |
paper shoes
This Board Is My Home
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34269 | July 9th, 2006 at 04:08pm Thank you |
rollerpig
GSBitch
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 62283 | July 9th, 2006 at 04:37pm Like it!  |
Tahm York
This Board Is My Home
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 31394
 | July 9th, 2006 at 04:38pm purty good |
losers_are_cool
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4120 | July 9th, 2006 at 08:25pm I liked it. I think the beginning though when you said "My eyes turn all black as I kiss the wall" could sound better if you took out the "all."
Unless of course you meant "all" as in "completely"...not just the way we speak.
And where you said "wanna," that could be changed to "want to" to sound better. But I'm really picky about these things. 
It was interesting, and I liked it.  |
paper shoes
This Board Is My Home
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34269 | July 10th, 2006 at 04:20am losers_are_cool:I liked it. I think the beginning though when you said "My eyes turn all black as I kiss the wall" could sound better if you took out the "all."
Unless of course you meant "all" as in "completely"...not just the way we speak.
And where you said "wanna," that could be changed to "want to" to sound better. But I'm really picky about these things.
It was interesting, and I liked it. Thanks a lot. :] |
madelyntastic{b.m.s}©
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 231 | July 10th, 2006 at 01:19pm Ooooh! That was a poem? |
11th Street Kid
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3645 | July 10th, 2006 at 01:34pm Inari:I actually really liked that.
It was twisted but in a poetic sort of way.
I agree with you there. |
paper shoes
This Board Is My Home
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34269 | July 10th, 2006 at 02:09pm tattoos.of.memories:Ooooh! That was a poem? No, it was a duck. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | July 10th, 2006 at 02:11pm Harlequin Girl:tattoos.of.memories:Ooooh! That was a poem? No, it was a duck.  |
spill_no_sick
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 31
Gender: -
Posts: 8588 | July 10th, 2006 at 03:15pm amazing
I'm glad there's still some one poetic in this section
I loved the entire theme, I just plain loved it
the symbolism, the imagery, the philosiphy
it has everything I love in a good poem
the form could be fixed up, but it really doesn't matter too much when you have the talent
110/100 |
losers_are_cool
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4120 | July 10th, 2006 at 04:37pm Harlequin Girl:losers_are_cool:I liked it. I think the beginning though when you said "My eyes turn all black as I kiss the wall" could sound better if you took out the "all."
Unless of course you meant "all" as in "completely"...not just the way we speak.
And where you said "wanna," that could be changed to "want to" to sound better. But I'm really picky about these things.
It was interesting, and I liked it. Thanks a lot. :] Anytime love. |
robotchicken.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 8423
| July 10th, 2006 at 07:54pm It was a bit hard for the lower class to understand, but I give you props for pulling it off. 
Lord knows people would hate it if it was me.
Good job :] |
