| Author | Message |
|---|
Santa Billie
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8285 | July 14th, 2006 at 05:52pm We'll cut down the trees
In the chilliest of winter
And leave the spatters of
Blood on our jeans
Curling our hands
Into weak little fists
We'll strain to break
The reflections through
The eye of the world
We each had our story
Yearning for a voice
Now six feet under
Like a dead mockingbird
The razor is a tool
For self-inflicted harm
But humans are the epitome
Of one's self-inflicted pain
-----------------------------
You might be a little confused.
You probably should be, haha.
I can explain everything if after, if anyone wants...
And the title is VERY...um...significant? |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
 | July 14th, 2006 at 05:56pm Well that was interesting. But like you said, I'm a little bit confused. o_O
Explanation!?  |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| July 15th, 2006 at 11:38am It's okay. Pretty cliché, though. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | July 15th, 2006 at 01:23pm I quite liked it. Not sure why. I think I understand it, if that helps at all. |
Babi Kid Rachy
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 4512 | July 15th, 2006 at 01:42pm Could of put more effort into it, but in other words its actually quite alright. |
Orgy
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179 | July 15th, 2006 at 11:32pm koolness....i need an explination tho |
k-contentbarrier-
Addict
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 14139 | July 16th, 2006 at 12:03am loved it. i like how you compare self-cutting with the cutting down of trees. very interesting |
steady riot.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2907 | July 16th, 2006 at 12:18am I liked it. I think it's pretty good. |
Santa Billie
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 8285 | July 16th, 2006 at 12:46am Ella:It's okay. Pretty cliché, though.
What do you think was cliched? The idea of the poem or the writing itself?
Hardcore Panda!!1:Well that was interesting. But like you said, I'm a little bit confused. o_O
Explanation!?
Yep sorry.
Well cutting down trees- I used that as a metaphor for cutting your arms
or whatever you please, and killing the oxygen.
I thought it made sense haha.
So yeah it's basically about someone who is harming themself and they're
only doing it to make the world notice them. But they're trying to show
that they're different. They leave the blood on their jeens to make
people notice. They want to be heard. But no one takes them seriously.
That drives them to their death. So the point is that you can't say the
razor hurts someone, it's other people that hurt them. It's their faults,
because they wouldn't listen.
That's about it All that for a crappy-written poem. |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| July 16th, 2006 at 05:08am Santa Billie Has No Life:Ella:It's okay. Pretty cliché, though.
What do you think was cliched? The idea of the poem or the writing itself?
It's really interesting but when writing about this topic use some more metaphores. Mentioning 'razorblades' and stuff, you should get rid of that because people read too many poems like that and they're pretty sick of it. It's really well written, though. Maybe even one of your best. |
IxAmxMe
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 327
 | January 14th, 2007 at 09:29pm Actually, it's one of the best poems I've read. Better than anything I've ever done. |
_maybe_someone_loves_me_
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 35 | January 15th, 2007 at 05:28pm Santa Billie:We'll cut down the trees
In the chilliest of winter
And leave the spatters of
Blood on our jeans
Curling our hands
Into weak little fists
We'll strain to break
The reflections through
The eye of the world
We each had our story
Yearning for a voice
Now six feet under
Like a dead mockingbird
The razor is a tool
For self-inflicted harm
But humans are the epitome
Of one's self-inflicted pain
-----------------------------
You might be a little confused.
You probably should be, haha.
I can explain everything if after, if anyone wants...
And the title is VERY...um...significant? Wow that's it |
Ghostie.
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 495
| January 15th, 2007 at 08:12pm I love it! The basic 'story line' of it is brilliant. Love it! =] |
