i'll never understand

[ i suffer from insomnia and usually i find that writing helps me get some form of sleep or just to relax so this is one i did last night ]

i suppose i'm meant to start with,
once upon a time,
but thta's just for a fairytale,
and this is one big lie.

saturdays are drinking days,
and often sundays too,
but then it all gets out of hand,
i can't remember what i do.

sometimes i feel so cold inside,
but display such happiness,
they never thought i'd get so down,
'till i told mum i cut my wrists.

"it'll be okay",
"we'll get through it all",
is all they ever say,
"but understand that things get much worse",
"before they improve in any way".

maybe if i could only see,
i'd understand the truth,
although sometimes i question why,
i still stand beneath this roof.

another day just passes by,
the beer is in my hand,
and then i slowly figure out,
i'll always be this damned.

I liked that.
I loved the first two verses.

Inari:

I liked that.
I loved the first two verses.

thanks