Suffer

Board index - Your poetry
AuthorMessage
Orgy
Geek
Orgy
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179
August 3rd, 2006 at 02:34pm
You think that i don't have a heart, because i didn't cry outside like you did.
but i can feel the pain even more than you,
i can suffer, i can cry...
...even more than you
because i can cry inside of me every day
and you can't see it

I just wrote this down one night
The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
The Doctor
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8786

Mibba Blog
August 3rd, 2006 at 02:37pm
That first line is too long, maybe cut it in half? and again.. verging on the cliché yo. And a bit too short.. unless you go all haiku then it doesn't really work. Again, keep it up and don't force it Very Happy Up
Orgy
Geek
Orgy
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179
August 3rd, 2006 at 02:38pm
ok....
DaveyHavok666
Geek
DaveyHavok666
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 250
August 10th, 2006 at 12:37am
WO HOO!
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