peas lover. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 3502
| August 7th, 2006 at 04:47pm A Shadow Within A Shadow
I was drawn to your rotten core,
Within you I lost my light.
The sign you left, ever so sore,
Made me a child of the night.
I became a shadow, but was left unbroken,
A wraith strangled with the red lace of sorrow.
Our sin was a symbol and a token
Of a rotten heart left hollow.
Sometimes, I dream all this is a dream within a dream.
I sleep to be awaken.
Instead, I'm frightened by the seraph's dying scream.
"Face it, my love, " you said, "You were left forsaken. "
We melted into one behind the pale door,
The proof is my blood on your face.
And my soul, drowned in your shadow that floats on the floor,
Strangled with that red lace,
It shall be lifted nevermore. |
11th Street Kid King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: - Gender: - Posts: 3645 | August 8th, 2006 at 03:08pm I love it.. |
peas lover. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 3502
| August 8th, 2006 at 06:26pm Thanks.. |
paper shoes This Board Is My Home
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 34269 | August 8th, 2006 at 06:45pm I loved it.
The "child of the night" line was kind of strange though.
We melted into one behind the pale door,
The proof is my blood on your face.
That part = amazing.<3 |
peas lover. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 3502
| August 8th, 2006 at 07:04pm Thank you !
Explanation :
child of the night = a vampire
malted into one / blood on your face = he turned her
My twisted imagination. |
Michake Geek
 Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 295 | August 8th, 2006 at 07:18pm good expept i think the line:
Sometimes, I dream all this is a dream within a dream.
should be:
somtimes i dream
that all this was a dream, inside of a dream |
peas lover. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 3502
| August 8th, 2006 at 07:23pm Thanks, but I disagree...Never mind that, constructive criticism is alway welcome.  |