Protest the Hero.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6048 | August 10th, 2006 at 04:35pm Betrayed by all
Misunderstood
He rose to fall
They hoped he would
Betrayed by his land
And broken trust
Had changed the man
That he once was.
Anger and rage consumed the man
No longer kind, no longer a friend
They had lost him, no one could understand
What had caused this man's soul to end
His eyes would burn with hatred and fire
His voice was lost, never used again
Revenge was all the he desired
They began to wonder, who were his 'friends?'
He died alone no was there
No had even seemed to care. |
Protest the Hero.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6048 | August 10th, 2006 at 04:53pm You could at least give some feedback.  |
Rainbows in the Dark
Idiot
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 820
 | August 10th, 2006 at 04:58pm Had changed the man
That he once was.
Anger and rage consumed the man
No longer kind, no longer a friend
You should try to replace one of the 'man's. It sounds kind of repetitive. But other than that I like it. And it kinda reminds me of The Count of Monte Cristo.... |
Protest the Hero.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6048 | August 10th, 2006 at 05:01pm Thanks for commenting. |
Rainbows in the Dark
Idiot
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 820
| August 10th, 2006 at 05:03pm No problem. You're a good writer by the way. |
Easter Davy
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 168
| August 10th, 2006 at 05:17pm better than any poetry ill ever write. i write songs. |
rollerpig
GSBitch
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 62283 | August 10th, 2006 at 05:21pm It's okay.
I can imagine it as a song.
I don't like it that much as poem. |
Protest the Hero.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6048 | August 10th, 2006 at 07:47pm Davy Jones:better than any poetry ill ever write. i write songs.
I write both. |
k-contentbarrier-
Addict
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 14139 | August 10th, 2006 at 08:26pm My knack for writing songs doesn't transfer that well to poetry. But YOU are amazing... |
DaveyHavok666
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 250 | August 10th, 2006 at 09:31pm Great! keep Going~! |
Protest the Hero.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6048 | August 11th, 2006 at 09:04am Mr. Pirate:My knack for writing songs doesn't transfer that well to poetry. But YOU are amazing...
Thanks. |
