Step parents

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gasp.
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gasp.
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Mibba
August 15th, 2006 at 12:57am
hey i wanted to know what you guys think about step parents. I wanted to ask if you think that step parents or half parents should be treated as birth parents?

Personally I have a stepdad and he treats me different to his two kids to my mother. He makes me hang out washing and clean while his kids hang around watching TV all day. I have talked to him about it and he says he will treat me as well as he wants and wants me to call him dad when I now call him andrew.

Even though i havent seen my dad in 10 years i still respect him and will not try to replace him with a new father figure. What do yous think about this?
Kurtni
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Kurtni
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Mibba Blog
August 15th, 2006 at 01:06am
I think your father lost his respect long ago, but if you feel he still needs it, thats ok. I think alot of times it can be difficult to not discriminate between your kids and someone elses. But i hate the Idea of cailling someone "Dad" who isnt. I dont even call my mom "mom" half the time, let alone a step parent. I have a step mom though on my dads side and shes wonderful, Im so glad I had a chance to have someone like that in my life. She is like a mom and I do look at her like that. It depends on the person at hand, you can't judge an entire group based on a few people.
Kurtni
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Kurtni
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Mibba Blog
August 15th, 2006 at 10:38am
Ypu know, alot of it can(doesnt have to be) the kids fault as well. They make bigger deals out of things than they should and assume they are being treated unfairly. They think "Oh, it isnt my real Dad/Mom, I'mma hate them" and with preconcieved Ideas like that, its just going to make your experience with them more miserable than it has to be. It isnt all peachy for the step parent either.
I.Heart.Panic.
King For A Couple Of Days
I.Heart.Panic.
Age: 28
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August 18th, 2006 at 10:56am
I think when you're young, i.e. below about eight, if your mum/dad remarries and your new stepparent treats you properly, and you get along, etc., and you want to start calling them 'mum' or 'dad', then that's fine. But if you don't want to, you shouldn't.
As for stepparents in general, well, your parents should be allowed to be happy and remarry.
mistress.in.distress
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
mistress.in.distress
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 41
August 19th, 2006 at 06:57am
my stepmum is really nice but that's probably cos she came in when i was 9. sometimes she is a bitch and i know she talks about me behind my back. still shes ok
Lucifers Angel
King For A Couple Of Days
Lucifers Angel
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August 19th, 2006 at 10:29am
i had a step dad and i loved him more than my mum, he would always be there if i needed him, and he has helped me a great deal, i think he only ever hit me once, it was my mum who used to beat the crap out of me, i had a sister and 2 step siblings (1 boy and 1 girl) who were treated so much better by my mum than i was,
Indie rock and roll
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Indie rock and roll
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August 20th, 2006 at 04:50pm
My parents divorced when I was 9, and my dad moved away. I lived with my mom until I was 12 and she decided she wanted to move back to Italy. So I ended up moving in with my dad and my new stepmom and stepbrother whom I had never even met before. It was really hard. Like, for the first whole week I refused to talk to anyone. But eventually I got used to it. I call my step mom "mum". She treats me like her own daughter. Actually, we look a little similar, as in we have similar coloring, so people are always like "ooh you look so much like your mom" I normally dont have the heart to set them straight.
GD Addicts Anonymous
Falling In Love With The Board
GD Addicts Anonymous
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Posts: 5896
August 20th, 2006 at 10:50pm
I don't have any step parents... I know a few people who can't stand their step parents, then again, I know some people who got really close to their step parents. Even Mike. So it just depends on the person.
robotchicken.
Falling In Love With The Board
robotchicken.
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Mibba
August 20th, 2006 at 11:03pm
Well, I see nothing wrong with step parents.
My friend for example.
She was adopted but her adoptive father passed away. Now her adoptive mother remarried. My friend doesnt hate her step father actually he is very nice but he just assumes the position of a real father. He tells her to feed her horses and stuff and gets after her if she doesnt. She makes him sound horrible for some reason when he isnt. So I think I read in one post that kids make their step parents seem bad but they arent. You know they arent your real parents but you should respect them cause apparently your other parent loves them. If your step parent was to treat you badly you should inform your other parent. If your real parent doesnt believe you take it to the police or something. :/
catch_22
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catch_22
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August 21st, 2006 at 12:47am
I dont ever think ill treat my step parent like my Mom or dad, i may respect them but thats because there older them me, but no i dont think the should really have a right to tell kids what to do and what not. I guess you could say their a pushed friend on you that you must live with, and if you dont make friends with them, it makes it 10 times harder then it really is. But i guess a stepparent could be a really good friend and nothing more
robotchicken.
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robotchicken.
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Mibba
August 21st, 2006 at 05:48pm
catch_22:
I dont ever think ill treat my step parent like my Mom or dad, i may respect them but thats because there older them me, but no i dont think the should really have a right to tell kids what to do and what not. I guess you could say their a pushed friend on you that you must live with, and if you dont make friends with them, it makes it 10 times harder then it really is. But i guess a stepparent could be a really good friend and nothing more
What if your real parent wanted you to follow under your step parents instructions? [ex. clean your room or wash dishes]
dysLEXIa
King For A Couple Of Days
dysLEXIa
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August 21st, 2006 at 10:58pm
I've known my stepdad my whole life and lived with us since I was two. I don't call him dad, I just call him by his first name, but still. He has authority, he takes care of us, everything's fine with him.

My stepmom however, I've only known for about 3 years. She's more like a good freind than a mother figure. I also treat her with respect, as she also holds some authority like a birth parent, but she's still kind of awkward to be around. =\
*whatshisname*
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*whatshisname*
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August 22nd, 2006 at 08:25am
I guess I don't think as my step dad as 'dad', because well... I dunno. I don't think of my real dad as my 'dad' either. Both of them missed out on my early life, which is probably why I don't think of them as either of them as my dad. But to me there is 2 types of dad, a social dad, the dad who is there for you and the one you can talk to; and a biological dad, the one who shares the same genes as you.
My mum and 'real' dad never got married (making me a bastard child), which I'm glad about. He left soon after I was born, so there was a vacancy in my house. My uncle moved in as he needed somewhere to live. I think of him more like a 'dad' because he was there for me in early life. So to me that's what defines a dad.
I don't think of my step dad as 'dad' because my mum married him when I was 6. As he was in the army we had to move away from my home, which I guess is why I despise him...
Anyway [/life story], I call my step dad, dad just for simplicity's sake, and I call my real dad by his name. My real dad does treat me different, he puts me higher up on the priority scale than his family. And my step dad treats me like his own, but sometimes I think he loves his daughter (my 'half' sister you could say) more than me.

Sorry if that was hard to read, it's a sticky topic for me...
dysLEXIa
King For A Couple Of Days
dysLEXIa
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August 22nd, 2006 at 11:03pm
*whatshisname*:
I guess I don't think as my step dad as 'dad', because well... I dunno. I don't think of my real dad as my 'dad' either. Both of them missed out on my early life, which is probably why I don't think of them as either of them as my dad. But to me there is 2 types of dad, a social dad, the dad who is there for you and the one you can talk to; and a biological dad, the one who shares the same genes as you.
My mum and 'real' dad never got married (making me a bastard child), which I'm glad about. He left soon after I was born, so there was a vacancy in my house. My uncle moved in as he needed somewhere to live. I think of him more like a 'dad' because he was there for me in early life. So to me that's what defines a dad.
I don't think of my step dad as 'dad' because my mum married him when I was 6. As he was in the army we had to move away from my home, which I guess is why I despise him...
Anyway [/life story], I call my step dad, dad just for simplicity's sake, and I call my real dad by his name. My real dad does treat me different, he puts me higher up on the priority scale than his family. And my step dad treats me like his own, but sometimes I think he loves his daughter (my 'half' sister you could say) more than me.

Sorry if that was hard to read, it's a sticky topic for me...

I get you completely. I went through something similar. I have a hard time calling my dad, "dad". Most of the time I call him by his name, but around him, I feel awkward saying dad because when I say something, usually I try to make it the truth. And he doesn't feel like a dad really. But I've been fine without a dad. My stepdad isn't bothered at all when we call him by his name because I've known him forever, but around my half brother (his son), I call him dad so that he picks up the habit of calling his father dad. *shrug*

Some people get along fine with just a single parent. It just changes who people are because of the influence. I'm into music because of my step dad. I have to admit that it's way different (me more of a rockish, him more hard rock/metal), but he got me liking it and wanting to play an instrument of my own. It's all influence. If someone doesn't like their step-parent, they'll try to be different than them, which still is an influence in a way.
GD Addicts Anonymous
Falling In Love With The Board
GD Addicts Anonymous
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August 23rd, 2006 at 12:28pm
When I was younger my mom was dating another guy and I thought they would get married eventually. I didn't want my dad replaced. If I had step parents they would never be able to be a replacement for my real parents and I probably wouldn't call them mom or dad.
LoveMeLudo
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LoveMeLudo
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Mibba
August 24th, 2006 at 03:23pm
i have a stepdad. i don't call him dad and i don't think that he really cares that i call him by his first name. and i think that you should treat your step parents like a close family member but remember that they aren't replacing your real mother or father. also, be nice to them. (well, duh) remember that your mother or father loves them and you should be happy for him or her......although if your anything like me you won't really think about that. i am selfish when it comes to that.
*whatshisname*
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*whatshisname*
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August 24th, 2006 at 04:19pm
afireinsidemyhead:
i have a stepdad. i don't call him dad and i don't think that he really cares that i call him by his first name. and i think that you should treat your step parents like a close family member but remember that they aren't replacing your real mother or father. also, be nice to them. (well, duh) remember that your mother or father loves them and you should be happy for him or her......although if your anything like me you won't really think about that. i am selfish when it comes to that.


When my mum married my step dad he gave me a choice whether to call him his real name or dad. I picked dad for 2 reasons: its easier, and I guess after seeing my mum unhappy after all those years, it would make her happy for me to accept him as my new dad. Now I'm older and think about it, it doesn't matter. But I still continue calling him dad. And he said he would completely understand if I wanted to call him his real name.

But I think I've missed out a bit. Most of my friends talk about how they talk to their dad's about anything (slightly exaggerated, I know), and I don't feel comfortable talking to him about anything personally. I sometimes I really do think he doesn't love me like his own.

To me I have no real father. So I believe it is important to have that father-figure in early life. And that is why if I accidentally get someone pregnant I will take full responsibility and be there always. [/off-topic]
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