| Author | Message |
|---|
Orgy
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179 | August 22nd, 2006 at 09:36am A scent of lavender fills the dark depressing room
As the beautiful bride walks to her waiting groom
Her heart beats faster with every step she takes
But still in the back of her mind she knows this is a mistake
A smile on his face, her grabs her hand
She looks into his eyes, his emerald green eyes, and,
The preist begins to read from his small black book
And her groom begins the vows, he gives her a loving look
Suddenly, her dress gets stained, stained with blood
It's all over her hands, all over his face, he and her, covered in blood
It runs down her wrists and onto the floor
The blood covers the wall, it covers the door
The people watching don't seem to notice it
They don't notice that there wrists are slit
A tear runs down her blood stained face
And yet, the gloomy bride stands in place
Looking at her loving groom, blood falls from his neck
The bride is in a totall wreck
Scared and confused she runs down the aisle
Everyone gasps in shock and turn to see her, while
The blood still remainds on the unknowing faces
And the dried blood leaves traces,
Of hearaches and self inflicted wounds
Of anger and misery
The blood drenched bride runs from the church
To try to search,
For an explination to this
Bloody crisis
What a beautiful wedding
On this beautiful day |
Orgy
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179 | August 22nd, 2006 at 09:42am I was inspired by the cover of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge and the song I write Sins Not Tragedies |
i worship billie joe
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5509 | August 23rd, 2006 at 11:15am really good |
Orgy
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179 | August 23rd, 2006 at 12:02pm thanx =] |
MyPunkRockSox
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 14 | August 25th, 2006 at 06:25pm THats AWESOME YOU ROCK!!!! |
MyPunkRockSox
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 14 | August 25th, 2006 at 06:25pm I would like you if I knew YOU MORE  |
Orgy
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179 | August 25th, 2006 at 06:46pm um, what do you mean? |
Orgy
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: -
Posts: 179 | August 25th, 2006 at 06:46pm ooooo nvm |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
 | August 26th, 2006 at 07:30am I didn't like it.
Suddenly, her dress gets stained, stained with blood
It's all over her hands, all over his face, he and her, covered in blood
It runs down her wrists and onto the floor
The blood covers the wall, it covers the door
Did you really have to use the word 'blood' that many times? |
rollerpig
GSBitch
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 62283 | August 26th, 2006 at 02:12pm Fletcherosaurus:I didn't like it.
Suddenly, her dress gets stained, stained with blood
It's all over her hands, all over his face, he and her, covered in blood
It runs down her wrists and onto the floor
The blood covers the wall, it covers the door
Did you really have to use the word 'blood' that many times?
I thought the same. |
TRE IS DA BOMB!!! [Blue]
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 24 | August 26th, 2006 at 02:18pm Well I think it's good! Kinda creepy, but it's good! |
Decorated <3 Emergancy
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2 | August 27th, 2006 at 02:01pm I thought it was good, but I agree with the two above blood was used to many times other then that it was good ^.^ |
grandma death.
Geek
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 170 | August 27th, 2006 at 02:28pm It was great, I loved it.
The word 'blood' didn't bother me.
By the end, it did get a little, only a little, repititious.
But I still think it's an amazing work, great job. |
Dead End Girl
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 10219 | August 27th, 2006 at 03:04pm I agree with Ella and Be.
You used the word blood far too many times.
It's not that the word makes me uncomfortable...
It's just used to many times.
It makes it repetitive.
The poem was drug down due to it. |
GrEeNdAyMuSiC77
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 95 | August 29th, 2006 at 07:27pm awesome |
Sara.
This Board Is My Home
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 31155 | August 29th, 2006 at 07:37pm 
I didn't really like it, Too much blood and predictability. |
