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Kay...I haven't posted here in a long time. This was originally a part of a story I wrote, but I switched it up a little bit into a poem.

CREDIT: "The hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of the blazing and burning" - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451.





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This sentence behind these walls that bleed light through the cracks
Seem to curdle the blood in her veins as she opens them,
And spills it onto the clean paper before her, the blood letters spelling themselves,
Intertwining with each other and devouring all that's left of her.


The paper lied across her knee like a wilting banana peel
As the rain dripped past her long eyelashes that guarded her diamond eyes,
And cascaded down her oleander cheeks.
Her fingers traced every outline of her latest failure
As she sat the the table with her heart in her hands,

The hands of some amazing conductor playing all the symphonies of the blazing and burning.

That skin, the same she's been standing in,
Is rough and pale from lack of sunshine.
But perhaps, even in the darkest and woeful times,
A thread of light could possibly break through this wall and her soul and skin would
Thrive off it and this thing she loves.

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So this was a test. I'm sticking to what I do best. I guess poetry isn't really my scene, but I still find it absolutely...romantic.

The images you created were good, but work on your flow more.

I like the imagery and the words you used, but you need to create some kind of rythym or flow. It's very obvious that it wasn't written originally as a poem. Keep in mind your syllabls in each line.

Handguns For Hearts©:

So this was a test. I'm sticking to what I do best. I guess poetry isn't really my scene, but I still find it absolutely...romantic.

That is a lie.
I absolutely loved that.
You managed to capture so many beautiful ideas and me inside them.

I agree with the first commenter.

The images you created were amazing, and incredibly detailed, but you need to make it flow somehow. Whether it's rhyming, or simply changing a few verses, with a bit of work, this could be a masterpiece.

I still think this is very good though. Two thumbs up.

bitch parade:

The images you created were good, but work on your flow more.

I know the flow wasn't the best. I never seem to capture that properly even when I'm writing just a story.

Inari:

That is a lie.
I absolutely loved that.
You managed to capture so many beautiful ideas and me inside them.

I've never captured a person before, besides myself, but ideas...oh, so many.