Esperanza Muerta

Um, when I was in fourth grade, we had a poetry workshop and I remember that one of our assignments was to write a poem with the Spanish words that the lady gave us. They had the meanings next to them. I remember my poem vaguely. It was something about the soul coming out at night, sitting on the windowsill and weaving silk. I really wanted to keep that in my memory, so I wrote a new poem. I used that line in there somewhere, but there is a running theme in this one. It's about a Spanish slave-girl. Spanish is really a beautiful langauage and I only learned for three years, so you'll have to tell me if my grammar is wrong. I'm proud of myself for this one. It's written in a very different style, than my usual one. It's kind of similiar to "Unbecoming" (another one by me) in that way.

Esperanza Muerta

When it is midnight
And the wind howls, rustling the leaves
With the faint echo of the crack of master's whip
I close my eyes and bring my body to turmoiled sleep

But my soul, she wakes
Taking her seat at the windowsill, she gazes at the moon
This vision of mystery that once carried hope
¿Mi familia? They see that moon too.
Unable to weep for the proud burden
That keeps us all within an inch of our lives and from home

Mi alma, her eyes are dry from weeping so many nights before
She breathes in and spins seda
The silk of our labor and the ruins of our past
Softly, softly she sings; ella canta por la tortura
Her voice brings courage to my sleeping brethren

Then I wake and mi alma, she sings no more
And her woven truths fall to the ground
To be trampled upon by the cruel man's black boots
Tengo triste but I control the single tear
Threatening to reveal me, the coming tragedy

The whip cracks and I look to the empty sky
¿Quieres muerte? I have no choice
¿Puedes correr? I have nowhere
To raise my voice in suicide
¡Sí! ¿Por qué? It is here I am destined to die.

Wow.
I absolutely loved that.

The weaving in of Spanish was really effective.
Beautiful. Captivating.

Aww. Thankies. I wasn't really sure about it, because I've never really done anything like that before, but it's just something I've always wanted to do.

Personally, I really loved it. I thought it was very fresh, and hybrid, and that you should be very proud. I especially liked the last verse.

I don't know Spanish, but it's beautiful.

That was really pretty. I loved it.
The third stanza was my favorite.

Beautiful.

The only word I can think of.

Absolutely beautiful.

The last stanza was absolutely wonderful, especially with the Spanish integration. I loved it.

Dude, you dont know how much I wanna write poetry in Spanish. Argh! >_< I really want to and it'd sound great...but not everyone can read Spanish unfortunately. Very beautiful poem :]
Ill write it in Spanish and then post it in English under.

Wow. I feel all speshul inside. *feels all speshul inside*. But wow. I didn't think I would get a response like this.

And I also think I like this style better than the usual four to eight lines per stanza and max 7 syllables per line. I mean, some poems have to be written that way, but some don't. And I never really liked it about my poetry that they were all kind of the same in rythym and form. I do feel proud of myself. But also sad. I felt sad after I wrote Unbecoming too. Because I think they are two of my very very best poems to date, and I wonder if I can write like this again.

Oh, and correction : Its not "Si?", it's "¡Si!". I made the correction up top. I didn't realize until this morning.