lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278
  | September 12th, 2006 at 05:36am Literature
Together we laughed at dawn and your hair fell into your eyes
Pouding, beaten, now I'm bruised and confused
With me, you laughed and it was music to my ears
And then I wanted to open my mouth and tell you...
Stop. I shouldn't want to call you darling
I feel sick to feel this way but you were beautiful
The ultimate high, your hair falls into your eyes -- you were beautiful.
I can't ask for you or I'll scare you away
Just bruise me, confuse me, I know you'll refuse me
But I'm pouding and beaten for you.
I know it's kinda short, but it was just kind of a blurb of my feelings. I like it. I don't really expect anyone to get what the title has to do with the poem and I think I'd like to keep it that way. Just tell me whatcha think. Flames are not only accepted, but they are encouraged. |
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538 | September 12th, 2006 at 06:03am I actually really liked that one.
I loved the way you eased the first verse into the second. |
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278
| September 12th, 2006 at 06:06am oops. I wrote "darn" instead of "dawn". Lemme fix that. |
