JOOLS
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 11676
  | September 12th, 2006 at 06:57pm Keep me here
as I lay
in the dark- alone
without a face
or a voice to call my own
Straining for a thought
a moment in time
waiting here for you
by myself
crying, but what else is new?
Shut your eyes
think of me
stand on the other side
without a lover
watching our worlds collide
I'm still here...
waiting
Thinking I should stand
but when reach to far
... I really don't think I can |
Dead End Girl
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 10219 | September 12th, 2006 at 09:25pm You rhymed...but the whole poem was was out of flow.
It was okay.
Kinda cliche.
Keep writing, kay?
 |
White Riot
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4761 | September 12th, 2006 at 09:31pm I had a poem called Alone in the Dark.
._. |
Michake
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 295 | September 12th, 2006 at 09:57pm thast GREAT!!! Nice Job!!! but i think
"I'm still here...
waiting"
should be all one line like
"I'm still here waiting"
but thats totally up to you, ill love it any way you keep it |
rolypoly_punk
Idiot
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 627 | September 12th, 2006 at 10:14pm Another Innocent Kali:You rhymed...but the whole poem was was out of flow.
It was okay.
Kinda cliche.
Keep writing, kay?
I agree but I still likes it! KEEP WRITING!  |
