Coaxing Butterflies

I'm giving my poetry a shove in the ass and trying something different. I'm writing in first person. Enjoy. I started writing this whilst starting to get really ill two days ago.


Lets play doctors and nurses. Press your hands to
my seashell ribs and listen to
every-
0101last-
010101breath- through the warm, stethoscope touch
0101010101010of your patchwork fingers. My lungs
0101010101010are crying an octave higher than my
0101010101010lurid eyes can bleed.

The lights went out long ago so don't look for signs
of life; just hold your healing flesh to my weak,
snow kissed complexion. I was washed ashore and
ensnared by mortal disease, but you blessed my toes,
anesthetised my soles, and carried me to safety.

Your affections are my sanctuary. Let my sleepy head
hit your pillow soft lungs as the gentle drumming of
your heartbeat soothes my cracked, dehydrated dreams.
Wrap my heart in metaphors and kiss me goodnight.

I'm coughing up butterflies but they've never tasted
so bitter. Inject my veins with lemon antidotes
and give back the creatures their beauty.

I've got plenty of glass jars, if you can spare one
night to play insomniac and coax them out.

Just promise to let them escape only as I sleep.

That almost makes me want to cry at the fact that I can't write anymore. But really, it's so beautiful and all the metaphors are perfect. I don't think I'll ever get enough of your writing, Ellen.

You are incredible.

I don't know what else to say.

Thank you, so much. It's breaking my heart to write in first person but it's the only way I can vent my frustrations nowadays.

Thank you guys

Wow. That's probably my favourite one that you've written.

I loved this part:
I'm coughing up butterflies but they've never tasted
so bitter. Inject my veins with lemon antidotes
and give back the creatures their beauty.

That was like waking up in a cool autumn day, the sunshine is a vague haze around you and all you can see is the beauty of nature around you...

or...

That rocked.

That was beautiful. I loved how you gave the words a physical shape in the first stanza. They teach us all that kind of thing in elementary and middle school, but I've never found reason to use it. But now I think I'd like to try it now that I see that it can be put to effective use.

You're like a painter with words. Paint over me and let me sleep.

Thank you *huggles everyone*