The City At Midnight

I did write this poem ages ago but, for creative writing, we had to write a poem so I decided to re-work this one since my creativity is going downhill at the moment.

I have to read this out in front of a workshop so honesty is appreciated.

Drunken bars and empty cars are ours to claim
tonight with the lips and lovers, the strobe lights
and stars, the canvas of night and taxi rides
into the pulse of the city. Destinations obscured
by rain on the window, laughter on glass
and songs splayed on the windscreen.
These are kaleidoscopic rainbows I try to
memorise in the lack of light, padding this diary
with smiles to give me something new to sleep on.

We left our inhibitions in suitcases for a shot
of recklessness between the plumes of smoke,
the suits and Cinderellas. There are fantasies
and fairytales beneath these sheets of moonlight
and star-sprinkled skies, breaths of living
amongst the sighs of night air - beauty
in viewing the city yawn into dreams.
Age and innocence in our palms: offerings
to the atmosphere - the sleepless,
dreamless and hopeless - when life
is the only currency we'll trade in.
Days tallied with a cross on the calendar,
lost with a barrage of spontaneity.

These eyes aren't unfurled to watch tomorrow
approach in flares of trepidacious regrets,
just to savour today with its rain-streaked
pavements and dimmed closed signs.
Through the anemic radiance of the
streetlights, you're watching the way
the shadows camouflage the city into
mysticism - and I'm admiring the way
the moon slopes onto you like a smile.

so descriptive i love it two thumbs up! yay adjectives!

"anemic radiance"

That has to be one of the most incredible pairing of words that I've ever seen. Gah I love you.

I adore it, as usual.
And I must say, I wish I had your wide vocabulary. XD

But, I must also admit, that I do not find this so be as good as your other poems.
Yet, it's still amazing.

wow thats really good

°MorbidRose°:

But, I must also admit, that I do not find this so be as good as your other poems.

Thank you so much for your honesty, sweetheart.

Any ideas on how to improve?

Electrocore Panda.:

"anemic radiance"

That has to be one of the most incredible pairing of words that I've ever seen.

I have to say exactly the same thing. But I also agree with °MorbidRose°. I just think you've explored subjects similar to this so often, that you need to feed your poetry with a few new experiences, if that makes sense. It's still absolutely gorgeous though, just a little samey.

*huggles*

Ginger Nuts:

I have to say exactly the same thing. But I also agree with °MorbidRose°. I just think you've explored subjects similar to this so often, that you need to feed your poetry with a few new experiences, if that makes sense. It's still absolutely gorgeous though, just a little samey.

*huggles*

Thank you, honey. I guess I'm just drained of inspiration at the moment.

Thankfully, no one in my creative class will know this is repetitive. Well, until we get set another one. Lol.

I love it.
but, then again, I love everything you write, as you know, my dearest.

ok so thats why you are good and im still working on it