Pretty Photo (Original?)

Young men engage in a close melee with the enemy
While we other just relax and do our daily shit
Now there's something wrong with human satisfaction
Another thorn in the side, another diamond in the crown

I wish that I could look away
And never see what happened to them
Close my eyes forever
And give a shit about reality

It's about time that we open these red eyes
And get inside, fuckin' realize the lie
But I guess there something wrong with lovely attraction
Another shit in the pile, another star in the sky

I wish that I could just look away
And never witness what monster they've become
Close my eyes forever
And give a fuck about society

It's like a bullet to my brain, again and again
That drives me so fuckin' insane
Motherfucker stay away, don't you see the hate?
Another piece on the board, another dagger in my heart

I wish that I could look away
And never see what happened to them
Close my eyes forever
And give a shit about reality

Stop! Your words makes no sense
We never felt this way, never saw this coming
Our broken hearts is now rotten inside it's cave
Another virus in the game, another failure

I wish that I could look away
And never see what the hell happened
Close these eyes forever
And make you suffer!

Frame yourself, make it a pretty photo
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What do ya think? any comments please ?

no one? :O

It was okay. Swearing doesn't often work in poetry, but there are exceptions. This isn't one of them. It didn't make it angry or bitter, it just seemed trivial and wasn't needed. Some of your images were really strong and ruined by the word 'motherfucker' or 'shit'.

Mediocre. Could be better if you worked on it.

I did like the line 'Frame yourself, make it a pretty photo.' But that was about it.

thank you ...
I like critic ...