Miss Misfit
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 265 | October 23rd, 2006 at 09:16pm If Im a liar
your a fake
If this is love
I can only ever feel hate
Words are useless
Actions are too
If Im wrong
Shoot me....
Prove me wrong
I know you want too
rub it in my face
dont ever make me forget
the pain I caused you
Another Lie told
the storys growing old
Somthing I never wanted to happen
got pushed on you
Im sorry would be useless
the word gets caught in my mouth
It gags me and a choke on guilt
Im so good at lying
but your even better at crying
damn the horrible words I let slip
and damn the feelings I cant ever grip |
Dead End Girl
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 10219 | October 23rd, 2006 at 09:33pm If Im a liar
your a fake
If this is love
I can only ever feel hate
I really loved this line
A great start but...it seems to go downhill from there.
The rhymes seem forced.
But it's great overall.
Just do a bit of spellcheck and grammar check
It will make the poem much better and easier to read. |
Mike's_Punk_Angel
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 173 | October 23rd, 2006 at 09:45pm wow. That was actually pretty good! |
