No Glimpse of the Autumn Sun

No Glimpse of the Autumn Sun

Rays from the sun colored
The leaves with their gold
And then set them ablaze
In sparkling nuances of red.
Then the daytime circle slowly
Drowned in its own blood,
Sinking beyond the horizon.
To mourn the demise
A gray white haze swept
Across the roof of the earth
And every tree slowly lost
Their attires of fiery metal.

Bony fingers now claw the heavens
And the wind cries and howls
With a tear filled, wheezing voice.
While the raging sea is ripped apart
By foaming white horses
Storming across the waves.
And the warmth of the summer
Has been consumed by frost.
Its cold fangs now piercing
The very marrow of the bones.

The painting of the view
Is being torn to shreds
By the hands of the season.
Then cold, icy stars of death,
Lining up so irregularly on this
Battlefield which awakens,
Throw themselves into a war.
A victorious banner
In white and burning pain
Is placed upon the surroundings
And every tree rests in
The shrouding of Winter.






You know the drill; comments and constructive criticism (if necessary)
Thank you =]

Just one spelling mistake, I think; 'thorn' should be 'torn' in the third paragraph.

I'm so jealous how you can write about nature like this. I tried once and it wasn't good... believe me.

I love. It's too pretty.

Ooops. *fixes*

Don’t be. It’s nothing special. You can write so much more things that's awesome. But thanks ^_^

I’m glad you think so. Thank you, sweetie.

What's in a name?:

Rays from the sun colored
The leaves with their gold
And then set them ablaze

Lining up so irregularly on this

Grammar/spelling

I think that word throws off the flow a bit. It's too much of a mouthful compared to the other words around it.

Other than that, I think it's beautifully written. Like Ellen was saying, I wish I could write good nature poetry like that. Hahaha I suck at it.

Gah! I should check my poems more carefully. Thanks.

Well, what can I say? Nobody’s perfect

Ok, ok. I give up *raise hands*. You go ahead and envy me. (j/k) Thank you. ^_^