YUZHEN_ Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
 Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 50 | November 10th, 2006 at 08:56am Scratched
Hello there angel
Of a thousand dirty sins
You've always been the victim
Of my violent living dreams
You lack the soul and heart
To hide your dirty past
You lack the mind and love
To think this act would last
Choosing glamour over truth's
A wrong that leaves a mark
A scar of dirty blood
And a love that leaves you dark
Agony-coated dreams
And a hate-filled world
Your fail to see your only hope
You fail to see that girl
Its not that I don't care
But I just believe you're fake
I love you now and forever
But because of a mistake
The thing that leaves me hanging
Is the reason why I cry
Because of those things that you did
I cannot bid goodbye
So I'd like to say this one more time
I love you so much more
So why can't you be like that guy
The one you were before?
You're living a lie,
Its true.
You're living a lie,
Aren't you? |
°MorbidRose° Jackass
 Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 1723
 | November 10th, 2006 at 10:17am I like it. It flowed well, but the random bolded/italicized/underlined words kind of make the poem look odd, like emphasizing words that shouldn't be emphasized. |
YUZHEN_ Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
 Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 50 | November 10th, 2006 at 10:37am Thanks =]
I fixed it.
Yeah I found it weirdish too. |
YUZHEN_ Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
 Age: 30 Gender: Female Posts: 50 | November 13th, 2006 at 02:48am RAWR D:
Why isn't anyone commenting??
=[[ |